Letter from my mom

yinka ogunlami

August 14, 2017 4:56 PM

You stole all of my youth, and then you had to go find a new lover.

A Black woman and her son

You stole all of my youth, and then you had to go find a new lover.

They said it was your ‘right’ but where was I going to find mine with the scars you left? So I remarried our kids and I kept my vows to them like I did with you, I gave them all the love you threw back at me… knowing that someday, they too will find a new lover, they too will leave me like you left me, like I left my parents for you.

And because I could not be a woman if I didn’t have a man, they let you take me away, they said I should wash your clothes, keep your tummy full, and still give you my body every night… because you are a man, because the society insists that you are better than I am, because I was ‘made from you’ and for you, right? Because I could not be a woman if I didn’t have a man.

You’d come home to hurt me and I’d nurse my bruises while I make your breakfast, You’d leave me in tears, I’d pick myself up and go to work, then run back home to make your dinner and pray you don’t break the plates on my head again. You were fire, literally and figuratively. And you burned me, literally and figuratively too.

I wonder what you felt when you pushed me? When you smacked me in the face, when you hit my head against the wall in your rage…What did you feel when you disrespected my humanity? What did I look like to you? Nothing? Unworthy? Was I just a thing to you? Some kind of thing that holds no significance? Was I? … Was I so bad?

But I must forgive you before I meet my maker, and I have but I won’t forget how terrified I was of you and how unfortunate I was to be yours. I was a girl, I am a woman! And you are nothing to me! I am whole now, I am mine and you don’t get to touch what’s mine, I am liberated, and I shall dance , and I shall laugh, and I shall preach freedom at the top of my voice.

For I am free, and I am whole. And I am mine and you don’t get to touch what’s mine!

Article written by Abiola AA

Abiola AA is a Dramatic Arts graduate of Obafemi Awolowo University. He is a writer and also an Artistic Director. You can follow his works on Instagram @abiola_a_a or contact him on 09058815367.

yinka ogunlami