Are we too comfortable with positive expectations?

yinka ogunlami

August 21, 2017 5:04 PM

Sometimes, we have our hearts set so much on positive results that a negative one throws us off.

Positive expectations

You have applied to that course that will be the perfect ball that sets your career rolling.

You have worked really hard on the applications and are sure that you will be admitted - this career will start at the stated time, just as it is in your vision.

You tell yourself there's no room for negativity, only positive thoughts. That the only result to come out of this wait was going to be positive. You will not be rejected. You are not a "to-be-rejected" child. The angels in heaven and earth have sealed.....

Wait. Pause, for a minute.

As far as we know, there are two basic answers: Yes and No. While one is received with a lot of happiness, the other is received otherwise. Everybody absolutely wants things to turn out positively, but how come there's never space for when things don't turn out the way we have planned?

Sometimes, we have our hearts set so much on positive results that a negative one throws us off. We get too comfortable with positive expectations that we seem not to have any backup or "slightly-soft" landing for when our expectations are shattered. Surely, giving up after the first trial is acceptable for people that haven't really found their footing or passion yet, but what about the person whose passion is in that particular path? Shouldn't they get back up and try again?

There are tons of quotes flying around basically encouraging you to start again or try again if you fail and how you should never stop till you get it right. Words are a fantastic motivation, but the better motivation is between "Yes" and "Words".

This motivation is "No". It's the worst that could happen and it's also that voice that will keep ringing in your head, telling you to pick yourself up, that the second one will be better than the first. It is what will surge you out of wasting time feeling sad because, there's always the option of trying again.

You should put fall-back plans in place, in case something falls through, the same way plans are made for when things turn out well. That way, there's strength to really "try again". It's quite hard to prepare for the negative side of your result - but once you have braced yourself for impact, the effect of no will be reduced, if it turns out that you didn't get what you were looking for.

This doesn't mean I'm a negative person. I have just learned the hard way that time will run the fastest while you're brooding over a bad result. You will look back and regret more, question why you hadn't utilized the time in a better way. Allowing the effect of "no" to weigh you down will only take you farther away from your wants.

It really is amazing to want things. Even better when you stick through every thorn. I hope you make something happen soon.

How have you been able to manage negative results? Let’s talk in the comments.

Article written by Lola Ogunnupebi

Lola Ogunnupebi is a freelance writer, poet, and entrepreneur. She melts at everything artistic - regardless of understanding. She's also a graduate of human resources management and hopes to someday, balance management and the arts. She blogs at lolaogunnupebi.blogspot.com and is on Twitter & Instagram @lolaogunnupebi

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