I'm still stuck on my ex even though he has moved on from me

Anytime I see him I can't just control myself. I’m confused and don't know what to do.

Dear Bukky,

Please I have been dating this guy for a year now then just this March we broke up and to be frank I was so broken hearted because I really loved him.

Before our breakup he accuses me of not being caring as I used to be which I realized, but this happened because I had some personal problems to work out and family pressure was on me. I explained to him and he understood.

Later, however, when he started asking for sex, I told him he should relax because I wasn't ready for it at the time. Just after that, his attitude changed and he began saying that if I didn't give him what would make him happy, then he’d allow me to do whatever pleases me and he’d stop complaining about anything I do.

Shortly after, he was to go to UNI and just then the demand for sex became higher. I asked him why the pressure for sex has suddenly increased and his response was that he sees so many girls in school and he does not want to have sex with other girls when he has a girlfriend. I just told him to relax because I felt if I allow him sleep with me I would later regret it because it would look like I did it just to please him.

We broke up eventually and despite all I did to get him back, it was like he had made up his mind and moved on with another girl. I tried to just forget about him and move on but I didn't find it easy because I still loved him.

Just last month he came back to apologize to me for not treating me well and just then my love for him grew once more but here is the thing; he’s dating and I don't want to be the cause of the break up of his current relationship, but I still love him. Anytime I see him I can't just control myself. I’m confused and don't know what to do._______________

Dear reader,

Letting that man go for real is the best thing you can do for yourself.

First the relationship you had with him was not built on the same ideals. His need for sex is too significant to overlook. It will always overshadow the relationship unless you can reach a common ground and from your mail, it is obvious that that’s pretty unlikely.

Another reason is because he’s in another relationship already. You need to let people enjoy things. Don’t be the reason why their relationship

Whether or not he apologized, move on. To make things easy for yourself, reduce contact with him and concentrate on other stuff. Constantly putting  yourself in proximity with him will only make the process of moving on more difficult for you than what is necessary._______________

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