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Valentine Gifts, Paul Okoye's Marriage, Don Jazzy's New Love

From a week brimming with headlines, scandals, and the odd shit-smudging, Pulse.ng’s Joey Akan walks through them all, shedding extra light, analysis, and maybe, discovering the solution to world peace.

Last week was a blast…well, sort of, but not for the media. The celebrities were too busy cooking up some romance for themselves that they forgot the most important thing in the world – us.  The media.  So there was no fighting, no kicking, or biting. But we had…

There’s only as much as a man can flex before he gets reminded that he’s a mortal, not the god of flexing. Someday he’ll eat the dust, leave this earth, and the works and legacy he left behind will bear testament to generations unborn.

Daddy Paul Okoye knows this; hence he has decided to wed his baby mama, long-time girlfriend, lover, or prime squeeze (as some romance hipsters will call her). He’ll be getting married soon enough, in Port Harcourt, the traditional way, and many are happy for him. We Nigerians are a funny bunch, we feel a certain kind of happiness for these distant celebrities when they get married, become a year older (by moving closer to their deaths), or get a new child.

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And we don’t really know why. We just feel blindly happy, and trust me, it’s a weird beautiful feeling.

I am all for celebrities getting married, and heck, I still feel that mild joy, but mine is tempered with cynicism. Cynicism because too many times we have seen celebrity marriages get ordained, and for too many times, embarrassingly many times,  we have also seen those vows get broken like cheap chinaware.

For Paul, my gut says his marriage to Anita Isama will stand the storms of time. He seems like a good man. The kind of man to look his wife in the eye, admit his fault, and not end up running away to a secret house filled with sexy groupies.

Here’s to the happiness I feel for him. Here’s to hoping he’ll keep his primary polygamous tendencies in check and treat his lady right.

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You always have the sneaky feeling that Don Jazzy has his life under control. He moves around with a bit of an air that conveys an underlying message of pride, and deep strength.  Like he got the world all figured out.

D’banj left his ass, and he still kept up that veneer of control and power. He didn’t sweat in public, neither did he fret on twitter, or drink Alomo and cry his guts out. No. Don Jazzy picked himself up, dusted his fat behind, and created Mavin Records, going on to achieve considerable success.

Then Wande Coal left him, but he still had that air. He had it all under control. Last week he unveiled a new act who has a weird name; Di’Ja. She also released a weird song to go with the name, which I find, mildly sexy. The signs look good for her, her past achievements checked out good, and when you’re a cross between Hausa and Krio (Sierra Leone), you have to have enough in you to blaze the trail.

Di’Ja’s debut single, ‘Yaro’ was cool. With more work, and proper planning, you get the feeling that she’ll hit the big time.

But then we have to look over at Tiwa Savage, the Mavin goddess of music and anticipate trouble. It’s always a disaster when two women would have to share a man. (Professionally or not). Especially when insecurity, pride and envy get mixed. It’s a recipe for disaster. Don Jazzy has to tread carefully on that one.

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Di’Ja Vs Tiwa Savage will be a good match to watch. My money is on Di’Ja to win. She’s sort of razz.

Valentine’s Day: Joke Silva, Timi Dakolo, Goldie Harvey, GEJ & Dame Patience

Well, at least it came and went without anyone dying. Last year’s Valentine left us all with a sad aftertaste. Goldie died on love’s famous day.  She didn’t die for love though, nothing too fancy.  But the harsh reality of her passing tainted that year’s celebrations.  This year, no sad story was recorded (except a depressing photo and tweet of GEJ and his peculiar wife, Dame Patience celebrating their love. It didn’t inspire us).

This year we had some good news, as celebrities were showered with gifts. The lovely Kate Henshaw, received flowers, chocolates and perfumes. Tonto Dikeh smiled sexy with  Gucci and Christian Louboutin shoes. Big Toolz got herself some pretty Giuseppe Zanotti heels and flowers.  And the beautiful Dilish Matthews got  a nice ring.

For me,  Joey Akan, I got to write articles, receive cakes and sexy underwear, have an interview with Kamar, and a fulfilling special Val talk with Joke Silva.I couldn’t wish for more.

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Here’s to hoping for the moon next year.  Anybody?

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