How to identify social parasites (and stop being one)

Social climbers are people who want to achieve wealth, fame or positions (that they are often not qualified for) by using other people. Cambridge dictionary describes a social climber as someone who tries to improve their social status by being friendly to people from a higher social class. It is simply about using people as a means to move up socially.

Social climbing has been in existence for a very long time. It has to do with attempting to get to a place or attain a social status by ‘climbing’ on social relationships. Social climbing should not be mistaken for networking, which is mainly about connecting with people with same social or business interests for mutual benefit. When you network, you aim for right positioning, connecting with people of same interests or skills who can contribute in some way to your career or business. Networking connects mutual interests and often facilitates mutual benefits but social climbing is attempts to use others to gain underserved benefits.

How do you recognise a social climber?

The sole aim of a social climber is acceptance into a higher status. Whatever a social climber does is inspired by this aim, and spotting them becomes easy because of this.

1. A social climber brags about the important people they know and have met.

They always attend functions where celebrities and important people will be present and they do everything to make sure they take pictures with them. They later use the photos to brag (on social media). They are likely to talk about what they’ve achieved and the people they have met in an exaggerated manner just to make people accept them into their circles.

2. A social climber seeks recognition.

They use every opportunity to be noticed and acknowledged where they feel important people are present. They pressure their friends (who are popular or maybe have celebrity potentials) on social media for elaborate birthday eulogies. They are often subtle about it, but their persistence and reaction towards those who do not comply exposes them.

3. They are gossips, providing unsolicited information.

Oftentimes social climbers peddle gossip and unrequested information to their target. Once they identify the person they want to climb through, they will paint everyone around him or her in a bad light so that they can be the angel.

4. The pressure you to connect them wit your contacts.

One trick of social climbers is to milk their social circle for the important contacts they have. They force themselves into becoming friends with every important person their contacts know. Once they make the connection, they cut off the people that connected them.

How to deal with Social Climbers

There are social climbers all around us. Some are doing it deliberately. Others are unaware that it is not the right way to the top. They have seen it work for some people and they want to follow the same path. Therefore, dealing with them requires understanding and tact.

The first thing you should do when you notice such people is call them to order. Approach them with the right attitude and point out the things you have seen them do which are wrong. An ignorant social climber will appreciate you for pointing it out and try to be better.

Those who are doing it deliberately will try to make you feel guilty for calling them out. You should cut ties with such adamant social climbers. This is important because they will use their relationship with you in a way that may harm you later.

What if you are a social climber?

If after reading this article you think you have been a social climber, the question you should ask yourself right now is “Do I want to be a better person?” If you decide to change, know that it is possible.

You can be better and connect with people in the right way. You can get all that you seek by being patient and systematically working towards it, believing in yourself, allowing people to know and love you for who you are, building your skills and attending programmes where you can connect with people.

Don’t be in a hurry, everything good will come.

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Pulse Contributors is an initiative to highlight diverse journalistic voices. Pulse Contributors do not represent the company Pulse and contribute on their own behalf.

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About the author: BOOKY GLOVER is a writer, blogger, freelance multi-genre editor and teacher. She loves to watch animations and movies with impressive swordfight.