Dear Bukky,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for quite some time now and he doesn't seem to really have so much time to spend with me as much as I want.

It's not that he's really so busy with work, but with friends and his parents. 

Plus, he doesn't call very often, just occasionally but we chat on WhatsApp on a daily basis. Most times when I  try to call him, he doesn't take the calls and he never tries to call back if he missed the calls.

That's how it has always been since we met but at the time, he had a another girlfriend so I thought probably it was because of the other girl.

But now she's no longer in the picture neither is there anyone else I think he loves.

So, I try to figure out why that is, but I can't seem to grasp what the reasons might be and it has kept me quite confused about him even though he's been good to me..

Really, I'm lost. Please what can I do to change that of him?__________________

Dear reader,

I don’t think you’ll like to hear this but it looks to me that you have agreed to play second fiddle from the onset and he is already cool with having you in that role.

If you were with him when he had a girlfriend, it means you had forgone so many things for a long time and the dynamics of his relationship with you has been with minimum effort because, of course, there was a main chick who he must have been taking more serious.

I’m not saying this to make you feel bad but the truth is, in my opinion, that man has become relaxed and comfortable, giving you the barest minimum of everything and as bad as that sounds, it might never change.

This just reminds me of Angela Valdez and Ghost in the Starz’ series, “Power.”

When you’ve allowed men get away with doing lesser than is required for a long time, it often takes something drastic to get them to shift their stance.

So I suggest you pick up yourself and walk away from this one.

If he wants you, he needs to come begging and then you can put him through the motions of learning to treat you like number one.

Actually not just treating you as number one – he needs to make you the only one.

If he can’t promise that and live up to the promise, you should not do this anymore. You need to do this for yourself.

I think you deserve better than substandard loving. Every woman does.__________________

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail to and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

Note; the chances of getting a quick response reduces if the text in your email has a lot of abbreviations. So, please write as properly as possible.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!