Especially when she wanted the pregnancy. Recovery is not a walk in the park. It is really difficult. But here's what to do and what not to do after a miscarriage, as you recover.
Emotionally, you may be all over the map after a pregnancy loss. Mentally, you’re probably feeling distracted and unable to handle simple tasks the way you used to. Physically, you may be exhausted and you may have trouble sleeping. You may still be dealing with the aches and pains of a miscarriage.
Fortunately, there are many things you can do to ease up on yourself after a miscarriage. This is a list of what not to do after miscarriage. We hope they help your recovery.
See this list of what not to do after miscarriage
When you’ve lost a baby, you probably feel like the only person you know who’s going through such a tragedy. You don’t have to feel that way.
The truth is that miscarriage is all too common. Stillbirth also happens far more often than people realize. The trouble is, we don’t really talk about it. Whether you prefer the safety and anonymity of the Internet or a more intimate and personal setting, there’s a support group for you so you don't have to feel all alone in this.
It’s hard not to feel like you did something wrong when you lose a pregnancy. Guilt is a natural reaction when something happens to someone important to us, and who could be more important to you than your own baby? There are ways to help you get through your feelings of guilt after a miscarriage.
Wonder If You're Normal
Every person’s journey through grief is unique. Some people need to be more public with their experiences, by talking with friends and family, holding a funeral or memorial service or displaying memories of their babies. Others tend to be private, confiding in only a few trusted people and keeping their mementoes safely stored.
Listen To Negativity
Because pregnancy loss isn’t something we tend to talk about, most people don’t know what to say when you do decide to tell them. As a result, they can say some pretty hurtful things without meaning to. Do your best to accept well-meaning condolences and educate people about the causes of miscarriage, especially if they’re clinging to miscarriage myths and old-wives tales.
Ignore Your Physical Needs
After a miscarriage, it can be easy to become hyper-focused on your emotions and forget about your physical recovery.
Immediately after a pregnancy loss, you’ll have lots of physical changes to deal with as your body transitions back to a non-pregnant state. But even after your vaginal bleeding has stopped and engorgement has passed, your body has needs.
By exercising and keeping your body healthy, you’ll feel more capable of dealing with your emotions. Exercise can also increase your levels of endorphins, which can elevate your mood.
Keep It A Secret
Even if you don’t want to share every detail of your grief, you may find it helpful to at least give a brief description of what you’re going through. Something as simple as "I had a miscarriage and I don’t really want to talk about it, but I hope you’ll understand if I’m a little off right now," can help your friends and family know how to act around you.
You might find that you have a few unexpected sources of support. You never know who’s going to be the person who offers to help you around the house or take you out for lunch.
Ignore Your emotional Needs
Feeling numb may be one of your first reactions to a pregnancy loss. It might seem easier to just stay that way — to not think about what’s happened and to avoid your feelings through distraction.
It’s OK to take a break from your grief once in a while. After all, grief is exhausting. But eventually, you’ll have to confront it. Trying to stifle your feelings can lead to sleep disturbances and even physical illness.
Remind yourself that even a very private person can take the time to cry in private. Give in to it once in a while. Likewise, don’t forget that it’s OK to feel joy again. The good moments help us through the bad ones.
Avoid Professional Help
You’ve given yourself lots of time and patience. You’ve had some good days after your miscarriage, but plenty more bad ones. On the bad days, it’s hard to even to get out of bed. You don’t seem to have the energy for anything, even things you used to enjoy. You don’t want to eat, you can’t sleep and you find yourself avoiding other people. Maybe you’ve even thought about hurting yourself or ending your life.
If this sounds like you, it’s time to get help. This is important because grief can turn into serious depression.
Call your doctor to talk. If you are considering hurting yourself or someone else, call the police or get to a hospital emergency room as soon as you can.
This article was first published on AfricaParent.com