‘Women Talk Sex’ is Pulse’s weekly series designed to capture the thoughts of everyday Nigerian women on sexual health, pleasure, and what women expect good sex to be and feel like.
Women Talk Sex: Why are Nigerian men so loud and ignorant about women’s bodies?
Men simply have way too many unsolicited, silly opinions about women's bodies.
This week, our subjects focus on how mightily ignorant and vocal a lot of people [read as men] are concerning what the female body looks like, and how it works. The question they simply can’t help asking is: why?
When and how did you first become aware of sex?
Lol. That has to be when I was 17 I think. I guess you can say I just knew about it and wanted to do it so I can’t particularly remember the first time I heard about it or became curious about it. But what I do remember, though, was the first time I did it.
And when was that?
I was 17 at the time and I was with my first ever boyfriend. I wanted to do it, and we did.
Oh, it was nice. But that could have been because I wasn’t thinking much of it. To be frank, while we were doing it, all I had in my head was “oh my God, I’m losing my virginity.” LOL.
So how happy or unhappy are you with your sex life now?
Men are scarce in Lagos. LOL. So there’s that. But my sex life is actually not that bad or anything. It’s great but it’s not as lit as I had while I was in England because… I don’t know, I just do it with fewer men and I am a bit more cautious now. And maybe I just really don’t care as much.
Let’s talk about Okafor’s Law: what are your thoughts on it? Rubbish or there’s some truth in it?
Oh, I really can’t remember what that means.
Ok. Let me rephrase: have you ever been dickmatised?
Lmaoooo. That! Oh, yeah. I would say I have. I mean, I definitely have come close to that. This thing happens, you know! [A previous subject spoke at length on her dickmatisation experience here.]
On the flip side, has there ever been anyone pussy-whipped by you?
Honestly, when I have this type of vagina, I’m gonna be so, so happy. Because I really don’t think I can relate to this at all. LOL.
How would you rate your sex skills though?
I think I’m a six. Nothing fancy. Just a 6.
Your most embarrassing sex moment?
Oh, this. This has to be when my wig fell off one time like that. Yeah. I think this is it. But I’m all grown and I don’t consider it as embarrassing anymore.
What’s one fantasy you’d love to try but haven’t been able to?
Oh. This has to be doggy. It is so, so overrated. Wonder what the noise and fuss on it is always about.
How would you rate Nigerian men over 10?
A strong 7. I’ll rate them a 7.
And what is the most uninformed opinion you’ve heard from a man concerning women’s bodies?
Oh. So many of this, fam. So many. Especially the part about saggy tits. Men like to talk a lot about this and it’s so rubbish in my honest opinion.
At this point, it is important to list what some other women said when I asked them about men and unsolicited [and often silly] opinions about women's bodies. Every thing below this line is one form of rubbish opinion that a Nigerian woman has heard from a Nigerian man.
Man says rubbish about 'wide' vaginas
I've heard a guy say “this woman own [vagina] no hot like the other girl own,” whatever the hell that means. And then he tried to link that to how loose one woman was compared to the other and I was just there like ‘what has that got to do with anything?’ Some men are really just dumb. It’s irritating. [This woman's story is actually about experiencing abuse and learning to find pleasure in future sexual experiences. Read more here]
A dumb take about the clit
A woman with a big clit has sex a lot. And that a woman’s clit doesn’t stop growing. [This woman has a personal story about how needless penetrative sex is. She tells it here]
Something about virginity
Ugh! That has to be the very ignorant idea that a virgin must bleed. Kill a chicken if you want to see blood. [This one is culled from the episode where we asked about catching orgasms while dodging STIs. Read here]
Everything men say about the female body has comma inside
I once had this guy who said that if I slept with someone with a bigger penis than his, that my vagina would expand and if it was with someone with a smaller dick than his, my vagina would contract. Right off the bat, I knew he was saying rubbish even though I was fairly young at the time. I was 18. I’ve actually heard a lot of rubbish from men about women’s bodies. In fact, I don’t think there’s anything a man has said about a woman’s body that there was no comma inside. [Her story is about the double hoe phase of a Nigerian woman and what really happened in them. Read here]
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