The quality of a relationship is in its happiness value, rather than in its longevity. If only this could be said enough times, and if only people would realise and grasp this truth wholly, there'll be more happy endings and less troubled marriages.
This is why you should value happiness over longevity in your relationship
If one of relationship happiness or longevity has to be forfeited, this is what you should always let go of...
At some point for many women, sadly, relationship decisions become tainted by the duration of the relationship, as opposed to the happiness contained in it. This often happens in relationships that have been on for quite a long time. It also affects women who perceive themselves as 'ripe for marriage' and 'too old' to begin again.
How women think in terms of time
It's been six years with him and aside from the fact that you're 27 and now too old to begin from the scratch again, he's the only love of your life... the only true love you've ever known.
How could you leave him when he deflowered you and made you do away with two foetuses? How could you, when he already introduced you to all his family members and put a ring on it?
Doesn't make sense to leave this place, you say to yourself as you look forward to a wedding that you know will begin a marriage that'd be lucky to stand for six months. Everyone congratulates you but each smile you flash in appreciation frays your nerves further, worsens the knot in your stomach.
He sleeps with other girls and says he'll stop when you're finally married. He reeks of alcohol and embarrassment when he returns from going out without you and even on days when you go together, he doesn't give a damn that you're there.
He carries on with his wanton flirtations and excesses as he would if you'd stayed at home, cradling your phone, waiting for him to call you, or at least pick one of your several calls. Maybe reply your frantic messages instead of leaving them on blue ticks; leaving you on read - unworthy, undeserving of a response.
His ex still owns him and he's not trying to make her know there's someone else. You were once sane but now even you doubt your mental wellness. He brings out the worst in you, and leaves you a mess.
Of course he apologizes every time he f**ks up. He brings gifts and sends you money - money with a source you may/may not be able to trace.
But it's all good, right? How could you ever leave him? How could you leave this great guy, these six years of magic and the marital bliss you're about to get into?
Doesn't make sense to leave and start again, does it?
An alternative, better reality
Think of relationships in terms of happiness and satisfaction and the peace of mind they bring. If there are other things that mean a lot to you, think of your relationship from those perspectives, as opposed to viewing it through the prism of time.
The idea that there is a certain age to be engaged or married is rubbish and time and several experiences have proven that repeatedly.
When it comes to marriage, sincerely, there's no need to rush. Just take one step at a time and stop hearing inexistent biological bells tolling. That's just Nigerian parents messing with you and blaming it on biology.
Don't be scared to leave old relationships that are no longer good for you. It does not matter how long you've known him, or how old you are now. Perfection is not always built with time. People change and the man you know now is the real man, stop deceiving yourself with memories of the past. If he was good only in the past and has irreparably gone shit now, ditch him. If it a her in your own case, the same rule applies.
The real measure of a relationship is not, and should never be based on the time it’s been on for, but the happiness of the people in it.
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