Relationship Talk With Bukky: He refuses to spend time with me; does he love me?

Dear Bukky

I have this guy and we are in a relationship and when I go to visit him, we never have time together. For instance, he likes watching football so he goes to watch football with his friends and leaves me at his place or may be at times he goes to play PS at his friends place and he’s always leaving me behind. Yet I always come to spend time with him since he is only available during weekends.

Even at times he invites his friends at his place and we never have time together when I visit him since we are far from each other. There was even a time he went to his friend and came back past midnight.

My question is if this guy really loves me and what should I do? ________

Dear reader,

Has the relationship been defined? Did he ask you out to be his girlfriend or did you both just have sex and happened to find yourselves ‘together’?

I ask this because that could be the problem. It may have been sex that became mistaken as something more. He could have wanted just a sexual relationship and you misinterpreted that to something else. So if there are no labels, that should be the first thing to sort out.

If, on the other hand, you guys are in a real relationship which got defined and he’s doing all this, then you should demand answers from him. Ask him beforehand when next you intend to go over to his place. And tell him you are tired of being taken for granted, if he wants you over, then he needs to start acknowledging your presence.

If you are there, you want to be taken serious. You do not need to be teaching him how to treat you well. But for the sake of giving him a chance to change, speak out for yourself and demand some change. Let him know that you would rather be in your house than come over only to be treated like some invisible entity.

Let him also know that if you are not visiting him, and if you guys are not spending time together, then there is no point continuing the relationship.

It is hard to imagine a guy loving you and refusing to spend time with you.________

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