Pulse.ng logo

Relationship Talk With Bukky My wife denies me sex every time; how do I change this?

There no time she’s ever ready for sex - morning, noon, evening or night!

  • Published:
Sex starved and worried. play

Sex starved and worried.


Dear Bukky,

I’m in my early sixties while my spouse is in early fifties. There no time she’s ever ready for sex.

In the evening she would say she wants to sleep. In the morning, the same thing. Or she would say that she's tired.

What can I do to change her?

Dear reader,

Without being insensitive to your needs, I think changing your wife is not what you should be looking to do right now.

Have you ever paused to consider that she’s very likely menopausal already, and that this could be what is influencing these changes?

Good sir, medical science says women naturally reach menopause sometime between 49-52 years of age, and your wife is in her early 50’s. It’s easy to deduce that this might be what’s going on.

ALSO READ: I love him but he's not educated & speaks terrible English

And here’s what happens when women reach that stage of their lives, according to WebMD;

“The loss of estrogen and testosterone following menopause can lead to changes in a woman's body and sexual drive.

“Menopausal and postmenopausal women may notice that they're not as easily aroused, and they may be less sensitive to touching and stroking. That can lead to less interest in sex.”

Getting to this menopausal stage has also been associated with “depression” and “anxiety,” and “stress” among several other conditions.

So if your wife isn’t particularly interested in sex, it should be obvious to you that this looks like the prime reason why.

Like I said earlier, this is not in any way discrediting your need for sex and all that, but for women, sex is first mental before physical and if she’s going through this phase, sex will be the last thing on her mind.

ALSO READ: Should I tell my partner when I'm attracted to someone else?

I think you should be a little more patient, kind and understanding with her, especially now.

Also, please go with her to the doctor’s or to a family therapist/counsellor. I think you both need this  a lot right now.
Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail to relationships@pulse.ng and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

Note; the chances of getting a quick response reduces if the text in your email has a lot of abbreviations. So, please write as properly as possible.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!

Do you ever witness news or have a story that should be featured on Pulse Nigeria?
Submit your stories, pictures and videos to us now via WhatsApp: +2349055172167, Social Media @pulsenigeria247: #PulseEyewitness & DM or Email: eyewitness@pulse.ng. More information here.