Everyone hopes to end up with a good person. A great partner with whom the goal of love-till-death-do-you-part can be reached.
For the reasonable man, this means getting a woman who fits the bill. One who satisfies his personal criteria, his longing for happiness, peace of mind and all the buzzwords guys like to throw around when considering the suitability of a woman for long-term commitment.
One of the issues with men when it comes to this is first the introspection that many often omit to do before projecting needs and demands for women to live up to. I mean, how do you ask for things you are incapable of giving back, things you are not?
Another issue, and more pertinent for the purpose of this piece, is how crazily skewed the idea of a good woman has become for the average Nigerian man.
Far too many times, arguments on preparation of meals, other domestic chores and modest dressing and appearance, etc, have gone viral off the belief held and aired by certain men that this is what a good woman does, and that these form the crux of her identity.
If she runs afoul of, at least, one of these criteria, she’s not good enough. Far too many men still think this way. They even brazenly express these thoughts and really, it’s just so sad.
While this is not an advocacy against women making meals for people they love if they so choose, and inasmuch as it is not promoting indecency, it is still the purpose of this piece that more men, Nigerians in particular, would snap out of the idea that these are the major composites of a good woman. These, in my opinion, are really, not anywhere close to what forms the core of a good girl or woman.
Would you rather have a woman who cooks, cleans, does all those homely things for you and covers herself from head to toe in the name of modesty than one whose values align with yours and has the necessary character and mental abilities to boot?
This brings back the point made in the third paragraph above about men not taking time to perform some very necessary introspection before beginning the search for a woman. It follows logically from this that if you have actually sat down to think about what you want in a woman and came up with those shallow needs on top of the list, your mind may be in need of some adjustment.
To reiterate what has been pointed out before, these needs are actually not bad and good luck to you if you want a woman who would do that for you
There are actually a lot who would have no qualms with it. But to take this personal standard and hold it up as the meter by which good women should be measured is prettydumb.
There’s a lot more to what makes a woman good for a man than her ability to do those basic, old, traditional, even unnecessary things.
And maybe if men began to focus a whole lot more on those other things like character, emotional intelligence, mental strength, financial astuteness, women actually possessing a working head on their shoulders and a spine to hold their own against disrespect, maybe more women, too, would stop holding those simple aforementioned traits up as bae material.