How to cheat like a Lagos married man in 8 easy steps

Note: This is a parody article.

With the popularity of side chicks in Lagos and the recent occurrence of a married man damaging the Range Rover of his side chick, we decided to explore how Lagos married men go about their cheating escapades;

1. Flaunt money on social media

Even the one that you don’t have, the one you got from Lapo Microfinance, the one that you got from Fraud and illegal dealings, attract the women by showing off your cars and money so, they’ll think they’ve got a big fish, meanwhile you are just a stockfish.

2. Be active on Snapchat

Being active on Snapchat is always a one-way ticket to sugar daddy Ville. Your messages are private, and you get to see beautiful women in all their glory and hook up with them.

3. Live in Lagos Island

According to ‘na me talk am’ statistics, men who live in Lagos are more likely to cheat than men who live anywhere else in Lagos. But, according to actual research from the Lagos State Ministry of Health, HIV/AIDS is more prevalent on the Island (Eti-Osa Local Government Area)

4. Say that your wife is a horrible wife and mother while you are the absolute worst

Yes, tell everyone who cares to hear, but especially the young girls that your wife is the worst woman ever, but always omit the part about being a monster yourself.

5. Buy a Range Rover or drive one

Somehow in the Lagos social circles, a Range Rover became synonymous with wealth. If you are wooing a lady, and she is proving stubborn just get a Range Rover for her. She would love to show it off on social media as the dividends of her hard work.

6. Expect loyalty from your girlfriend

It doesn’t matter that you are the most disloyal man to ever walk this planet, you should be able to demand loyalty from both your wife and girlfriend(s), if they cheat on you, you can go berserk.

7. Get married early or look young

One of the first steps in being a certified (married) lover boy in Lagos is early marriage or youthful appearance, gone are the days when sugar daddies had the stereotypical big bellies.

No, you must look so young that you are virtually indistinguishable from the young unmarried men because let’s face it, you don’t have to tell her that you are married yet and looking young will make her think you are unmarried.

8. Be plugged into the Lagos social life

From W bar to Cubana move around clubs like you are a Poco Lee or you don’t have a place to sleep at night. Be friends with influencers and influential people, especially those who have notoriety on social media.