My baby mama is untrustworthy; can I marry her for my kids' sake?

Dear Bukky,

I have issue with trusting the mother of my two kids. It all started after the birth of my first child.

My child was less than one year when she told me that she would like to return back to school. So we both agreed that she should leave the child with my mum in Delta while she returned to Lagos to continue her education.

During this period I left Lagos to Delta to spend some time with my daughter when I received a call from a co-worker that my kid's mother is having an affair with someone in her office area. I called her attention to it, she denied it.

When I returned to Lagos I did my findings and discovered it was the truth so I confronted her. She said they were just business friends. Seven years later I've discovered they were not only dating but were also enjoying sex.

This time I confronted her again. She answered in the affirmative. Since then I don't trust her again.

We are not legally married now, but we have two kids already. Should I go ahead with marriage because of the kids?_______________

Dear reader,

Kids are not meant to keep marriages together. Do not marry anyone just for the presence of kids. Really, this may not be what you want to hear but a marriage that’s bad won’t favour even the kids; and frankly, you wouldn’t be doing them any favours by marrying their mum if you do not really trust her.

This is because any marriage built on distrust is bound to become filled with animosity and resentment at some point. And from that point, the marriage just goes downhill.

ALSO READ:Is it OK to remain in a bad marriage just for the kids?

So why bother with something that’s clearly doomed to crash?

In my opinion, if you both can’t work out your differences to a point where all issues are trashed out and trust is established, I think you should just focus on training your kids and being the best parents to them._________________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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