How to make a toxic relationship healthy

However, this love thing can be somehow. The entire world would be urging you to leave your abusive partner because they recognize the devastation s/he has done to you, and we'd say, "We've heard," and swear to leave them, but we just can't, we simply can't envision ourselves with anyone else.

So today, we'll try to discuss a few ways to make that toxic relationship healthy. But before we proceed, I just realized that some of us might be in toxic relationships and not even know it.

So what's a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unappreciated, unwanted, misunderstood, unhappy, disrespected, and constantly makes you question your worth.

If your partner is unforgiving, controlling, abusive, selfish and unfaithful, then they're toxic. These traits shouldn't be overlooked as they can scar you badly.

Now to the crux of the matter, how can you make a toxic relationship healthy?

Here are a few pointers.

1. Self-reflection

You and your partner have to create time apart to think and reflect on the state of your relationship. Think about the things you did wrong, think about where they went wrong. This self-reflection will aid you in the next step.

2. Identify the problem

The whole point of reflection is to identify the reason why your relationship is toxic and unhealthy. Be honest with yourself, are you the toxic one? Is s/he the toxic one? Or are both of you toxic in your own ways? Identify the problem.

3. Communicate

Now that you've identified the problem, the next step is to look for a way to communicate this problem to your partner. Both of you need to have a healthy conversation and that means a conversation where you listen to understand, not a shouting match or a boxing match. Listen to each other and apologize when necessary. Healthy communication is what activates the healing process.

4. Forgive

This is maybe the most difficult part, but it's also the most important. If both of you can not forgive each other, then you might as well end the relationship. Forgiveness is difficult, but it gives both of you the chance to start the relationship afresh.

5. Change

Now that you've forgiven each other and agreed to start afresh, it's time to change that toxic behavior. This part requires a great deal of work and patience but most importantly, it requires willingness from both partners. An apology isn't really an apology if it doesn't result in a change in behavior.

6. Seek professional help

Please make an effort to see a therapist. These issues can sometimes be too much for you to handle on your own. Don't be afraid to seek professional assistance.

If you've tried all these and there are still no changes, please revert back to the first paragraph of this article - run for your life.