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Couples only 6 popular relationship rules you should totally ignore

There are no set of rules to having that perfect relationship, following them religiously could totally sabotage your relationship

  • Published:
Newly married couple. play

Newly married couple.


There are so many relationship rules that are always being hammered into our ears and sometimes couples get confused because some of these rules tend to contradict each other.

The truth is there are no set of rules to having that perfect relationship, following them religiously could totally sabotage your relationship and at times breaking those rules could make you happier.

Compiled by YourTango, here are 6 "couple commandments" you shouldn't really regard:

  1. Never go to bed angry: This is probably the oldest one in the book, dating all the way back to the Old Testament, which advises, "not letting the sun go down on your anger." But following this rule could mean a lot of late nights spent rehashing the same argument and getting nowhere. Plus, nothing escalates an argument more than sleep deprivation and mental exhaustion — which studies show not only turns your brain to mush but robs you of self-control and the ability to making smart judgments. A better idea? Push the pause button on your disagreement, get some z's and agree to revisit the issue when you're both rested. The good news is, research reveals that your brain can actually solve problems for you while you sleep by enhancing your decision-making abilities. So, plan to wake up with a better understanding of your situation and a clearer picture of how to resolve it — plus, be in the mood (and better rested) for make-up sex!

  2. Never sleep in separate beds: Speaking of shut-eye, while cuddling and spooning is nice, if you find yourself tossing and turning most nights due to your partner's annoying sleeping habits, this is bad for your health ... and your relationship. One British study found that couples suffer up to 50% more disturbances when sleeping next to someone than when sleeping alone. And poor sleep, researchers say, is now linked to depression, heart disease, strokes, lung disorders, traffic accidents — and divorce! This probably explains why a whopping 30 to 40 percent of couples sleep apart at night. (Yes, really.) Remember, there's no reason why you can't still enjoy morning and nighttime rituals that involve cuddling and getting busy while camping out in the guest room.

  3. You must do everything together: Many couples believe that if their partner enjoys something, they should make an effort to get on board, too. Nice gesture, unless you end up gritting your teeth while participating in activities he likes but that seriously don't float your boat. In the long run, this can lead to unnecessary boredom, stress and conflict. You definitely DO need to find and cultivate mutual interests to stay close and connected, but researchers at Columbia University found that couples who are constantly joined at the hip are actually less likely to have a long-lasting relationship than those who put some distance between them. So, if he wants to go fishing or hit the links, and you'd rather see a chick flick or get a mani/pedi with your gal pals, do your own thing. Then plan to meet up for dinner to share details of your separate adventures.

  4. Be 100% honest in your relationship: Whenever I ask couples whom I coach what qualities they value most in a partner, most will list "honesty" among those traits. I agree that you always want to share hopes and dreams, and I caution against fibbing about finances. But you don't need to share intimate details of past relationships. That just conjures up comparisons and can breed feelings of jealousy, insecurity and inadequacy. Also, brutal honesty often does more damage than good. So, always consider your partner's feelings before blurting out something you (both) might later regret.

  5. Avoid fighting at all costs: It's a no-brainer that if you fight constantly and never resolve basic issues, your relationship is probably in trouble. But, not fighting is even more dangerous, because it likely means that one or both of you has given up on the hope of saving your relationship and doesn't care enough to work through issues. So, when something's bugging you, go ahead and duke it out (metaphorically, of course). According to one survey, 44 percent of couples claimed that squabbling once a week was the secret to a strong, happy union — so long as the bickering wasn't abusive. Arguing, they insisted, "helps keep the lines of communication open."

  6. Your kids should always come first: When kids enter the picture, many moms and dads puts their relationships on the back burner in the name of being good parents. Big mistake. Research reveals that not only will your marriage suffer, but so will your offspring.

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