Could You Date An Ex Convict?

Could You Date An Ex Convict? | Hard or Never

joanngomba

October 16, 2013 7:56 AM

ain't Akon

They had a good life before they went behind bars and we presume the mistakes from that life landed them in chains. They loved and had been loved before the chains as well and we are wondering if prison could honestly change their responds to love and

An ex convict is not the same as an ‘ex-lover’. Let’s be clear on that. Their lives are not different from someone who hasn't been caught yet but people turn to see them as people from the depths of hell with no soul, no emotions and nothing to offer. What about them being repentant? They may have made the wrong choices in life and paid for them dearly but when they step out of that prison yard, they are changed men/women! At least that's what it seems to be.

From the mouth of a psychologist friend of mine, “they just need time, support and love to continue with that changed frame of mind” and I couldn't agree more. Also ‘once a criminal, always a criminal’ some will say and I wouldn't disagree either. But why can’t we just give it a try? What happened to their exes?

According to my thoughts, some partners don’t wait till their criminal lovers do their time. They find someone one new and continue with their lives. Others sometimes wait but give up just weeks or months after the release because jobs become so difficult to find. What happened to that ‘support’?

For someone convicted for murder, it gets even worse. They might never come out of jail. Should their partners continue to wait and love them? If they manage to get out (maybe for good behavior), how harden could they be? Could they still kill if given the chance to? Wouldn't their lovers feel insecure living in same houses as them? That’s if they stay with them!

Ex convicts find it so hard to find love like they do with finding jobs. Like many of us, they also need love and ‘could’ do anything to get it or rather feel it. They've been in jail where loneliness, hardship and striving to survive are the only things they know and when they come out, all they want is the warmth, love and respect from those who haven’t gone in yet. When they don’t get all these guess the rest becomes history.

Point is, people find it hard to fall in love with criminals whether changed or not and “its natural but, these peoples still have a They are not left out. All they need to do is and convince others you are a changed man”…Pastor George (New Treasure Baptist Church, Ketu-Lagos).

Whether or not ex-convicts deserve love and pity or not, it’s our responsibility to act mature and supportive. These will help them get over that nightmare and become the people we once fell in love with. I don’t want to think, some wouldn't say they had been in prison to the people they want to love. That’s crazy and that could happens in Africa a lot since there are no evidences to prove their guilt.

However, if you commit a crime, you are obliged to learn from your mistakes so you don’t become an outcast among your peers. I understand how that feels. It hurts but that doesn't also have to drive you to insanity or into acting foolishly again. Get up, dust off and move on. Others have made it, why not you? Tell yourself, “I’m changed. I’m loveable. I can love”.

It's now left for us to choose whether or not ex convicts could be a friend, best friend, lover or life partner.

joanngomba