Was "Police is your friend" the biggest lie in this video?

Merry Christmas from the Nigeria Police, Immigration, Customs, National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA), Nigeria Prisons, Federal Road Safety Commission (FRSC) and the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC).

From their 'Ogas at the top'....

And just in case words aren't enough, the guys in uniform took the time to do you a video which you can watch and dance to below:

Some Christmas cheer from our paramilitary outfits? You bet!

My first reaction was one of amazement, then shock and then a toss of my phone into the garbage heap, before retrieving same in agony.

The video was that beautiful. The dance steps were that electric. The sound was top notch.

The picture quality may not have been great, but when people take the time out of harassing you on the roads to do you a Christmas song, you best appreciate it, bruh!

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A few lines killed me, though.

One was from the Police officer: "Police is your friend...we serve and protect with integrity, we make Nigeria secure..."

Every word in that line was a lie. Every word.

If anyone had announced beforehand that "integrity" and "Nigeria Police" will situate themselves in the same sentence, it would have come across as a rude joke.

And then came the lady from Customs: "We protect and control the migrants to make Nigeria secure..."

No mention of bribes and kickbacks at the borders or at the ports.

And one after the other they came, shaking their butts this way and that and smiling for the cameras.

It was pretty good acting. Even Santa Claus couldn't have pulled this off.

All of the lines were too good to be true because there were not true.

"Police is your friend" has become a cliche, but it was arguably the biggest lie in that carol.

Someday, we'll get to know just how much went into putting that video together, or if the Customs, NSCDC, NDLEA, FRSC and Police folks dancing in the skit serve in a different world from those who extort money from motorists and civilians at every opportunity.

Someday, we'll get to find out if not watching this video as you drive across Nigeria, is enough to have you pulled over and charged with all kinds of offences.

But for now, it's merry Xmas and a happy new year.

After all, with the police as your friend, you have nothing else to worry about this festive season.