"He stopped calling after I told him I have a kid"

Dear Bukky,

It’s actually crazy how people say they want honesty in relationships but they can’t even handle it sometimes.

Here is my story; When I was 20 in the University, I had a daughter and prior to that I had had an abortion.

I am a single mother and I am 27 now. The few guys I’ve dated since I graduated from school do not know about my kid because I never feel comfortable enough to tell them… but then I met this guy…

Like, we bonded so easily and so beautifully. I actually felt in love for the first time in a very long time and after about seven months, I told him about my past… the abortion and my seven-year-old daughter.

He’s been acting funny since then. It’s been three weeks now and I have not heard from him. When I reached out, her was cold and not his usual self. To say that I’m hurt and disappointed is an understatement.

Do you think it’d have been better if I’d kept my mouth shut? I was only trying to be honest and open because I felt we were headed somewhere good together.

When I find someone else, how do I open up to them about my past and not lose them?____________________

I feel your pain and I have to tell you straight up that you did the very right thing.

Openness and honesty remain massively important in any relationship that is headed anywhere good.

It’s just sad that many people seem unable to deal with the truth they always feel entitled to.

As for your boyfriend, I don’t think all hope is lost just yet. Maybe he needs just a little more time to wrap his head around the information you gave him.

You know how men are; he’s probably considering all the pros and cons of continuing the relationship and everything it comes with.

I’d give him maybe one more week then reach out to him.

Whatever happens, I think you shouldn’t stop being honest with your partners. It’s the best thing to do.

Whoever is going to stay will stay. Having a kid isn't a disease. Someone will come around who has no qualms with that.___________________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail to relationships@pulse.ng and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!