Pulse First Love: She flew out to America and ghosted me for five years

Eventually, of course, I had to move on with my life.

Pulse First Love- The Ghosted Edition

#PulseFirstLove is a weekly series that captures the emotions people felt, and the motions they went through the first time they tried being in a relationship.

Today’s #PulseFirstLove story sees our subject wondering what went wrong after his first-ever girlfriend left him high and dry in Nigeria. He only found out that she had travelled via social media, and he had to wait for 5 years to get closure. Read on.

Tell me about the first time you had a crush on anyone

Rita Dominic. It has to be Rita. My mum loved home videos a lot back in the day so it naturally became a thing in our household so I grew up watching all the female OGs of Nollywood in their Heyday. But I remember being 11 and coming to the realisation that even though I liked most of these female actors, Rita’s own was special. I don’t think I snapped out of it fully sef. I mean, I moved on but I still kinda liked her. I was a little bit crushed when she revealed her partner a while back

LMAO. Sorry bro

Thanks.

So when was the first time you actually liked a girl around you? I mean an attainable one

Uhmmm.. There was *Ngozi in my SSS1, *Mandy in SS2 and Ngozi again in SS3.

Look at that. A king keeping his options close

I mean. I and Ngozi kinda liked each other but we were also lowkey stupid in SS1. Stupid and childish so we used to fight over silly things and not speak to each other for long stretches. That was how Mandy came into the picture. Bro, I don’t know how that girl came to be so bold and daring and grown-up in SS2. But she opened my eyes to a lot of carnal things of this world. LOL. Wherever Mandy is right now, I hope she’s having a great day.

Hahaha. I hope so, too.

When was the first time you actually fell in love with someone though?

Pre-degree. I met this girl and you know how you see someone and you can’t get your eyes off them?

Yeah, I guess

That was it for me. I was not even intentionally doing it, I just found that I could not stop staring. No be even stolen glances, na full-on staring. It was when she started laughing and made a gesture for me to stop staring that I actually realised that I had been staring.

She was that gorgeous, no?

18-year-old me was gobsmacked. That was like the first time I knew what it meant for someone to have skin like milk. LOL. That babe was so pretty man. Turns out she thought I was cute too. Omo, I was on cloud 9.

Hahaha. Go on

So I had gathered all the courage I had to go ask for her number and we started hanging out that same day. That was when I told her that I could not get my eyes off her because she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. That was when she said she found me cute as well. We ended up spending about 4 hours together that day. I think we both didn’t want it to end. But eventually, we just started seeing each other every day. Talking every day.

Na so relationship start

You don get am. I didn’t even have to actually ask her. We kissed after about one week of knowing each other and then I blurted out that I loved her. She smiled and said the same. Na so relationship start.

Haha. Normal level. So how would you rate the relationship?

For something that brief, and with the kind of ending it had, I still think of the relationship and the babe with such fondness so I’d say 8. I really liked that girl. I think she liked me too while it lasted.

When you say brief, how short are we talking about here?

2 months. Give or take, maybe 2 months and 2 weeks but yeah, something like that.

You know you have to tell me what happened, right?

She travelled abroad. Without even telling me.

For holidays?

LMAO. Bro, please. For good. That woman has been abroad since 2012. And all she said was that she had to go home that there was an important family affair that her parents needed her to come home for. I mean, she was always mentioning that part for almost a month. So I knew clearly that she would be travelling home and that it might be a whole week before she returned. But of course, as time would later reveal, all that was a lie.

How did you find out?

Months later. On Facebook and it was not like she told me oh, she just posted something and the location said USA. Before then, it was a total blackout. As in, total ghosting. No calls, no texts, no nothing. The last message I got from her before she travelled was to say she had arrived home safely and mumu me was still saying ‘I miss you already’ and other similar love stories. How could I have known that my girlfriend was actually going to study abroad, leaving me high and dry in Abia State? Even after seeing the USA post, the DMs Ii sent went unanswered. Eventually, of course, I had to move on with my life. It was very crazy at the time sha.

Did she ever reach out?

Years later, I think in 2017. We were all grown then and because we stayed friends on Facebook, I’d still like her posts from time to time and she started liking mine back. Somehow, I think we kinda reached a place of acceptance, Or let me just say: I reached a place of acceptance. Then she sent a DM and that was when I finally had my closure if you’d call it that.

Did she tell you why she did what she did?

Yes. Apparently, they had been trying to fly her out for her studies as soon as she was done with secondary school but her folks made her try PreDegree while they were working on it. That way, if the process failed, she would just continue studying here in Nigeria and go for her masters degree there. But the thing clicked and she had to go.

But she could have told you?

She said her parents had asked her to tell nobody that wasn’t family. A command from their pastor, apparently. She apologised eventually. I mean, I am not sure I would have acted differently so I kinda understood when she explained. Homegirl was trying to secure her future away from Naija. Can’t begrudge her for that.

Fair enough. Did you consider trying to get back with her again?

Nah. It was pointless. I still think it’s pointless. Maybe if my Canada dreams come to pass, I might try again if she’s still single. Not sure if that would even be successful but I am willing to try.

Again, fair enough

Also, I think it’s better to try a long distance relationship from Canda to America than from Nigeria to America.

Can’t even argue with this logic at all

It is what it is.

*Names changed to preserve anonymity of the subject.

__________

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