#PulseFirstLove is a weekly series that captures the emotions people felt, and the motions they went through the first time they tried being in a relationship.
Pulse First Love: I got a second chance to do my first love right
I ghosted on him once. Never again.
If you love and believe second chances, this #PulseFirstLove story is for you. Our subject reminisces on her debut relationship which ended with such toxicity in her early 20s. Years later, she and her first love are reconnected and this time, things are different. A lot more different.
Can you remember the first time anyone had a crush on you?
During jamb class. He was one of our tutor but was young sha.
How did you know he had a crush on you? Was there something he did in particular?
He was always trying to talk to me. He was a science tutor and I was an art student. So after lessons I would stay to gist with my friends and he would join the conversation. It was a nice thing sha, to have had a tutor crush on me. But it brought its own troubles.
I was acing English, so other tutors were thinking he was giving me expo because he was the one in charge of our exams. So they chose someone else and I still aced English. They were now certain I did it on my own. But that still didn’t stop the hate I was getting from a lot of other girls.
It actually wasn’t easy.
So it's safe to say nothing happened with that?
Can you remember the first time you had a crush on anyone?
Oh this one. I was still a very little girl. I must have been in Primary 4 when I started liking our Landlord’s son. But then one time like that, he gave me a dictation exercise and I flunked it. Lmao that was embarrassing so I guess that was how that crush died off.
Let’s talk about the first time a guy asked you out
I had just finished secondary school and I was at home, awaiting my results when this one happened. There was one guy disturbing me then. Let’s call him Dee. One day I was passing by and Dee was talking to me as usual but there was this other guy beside him who I think was his friend. This other guy then asked what my name was and if I stayed close. I answered yes and we exchanged numbers. So he became the guy I would complain to anytime Dee was disturbing me and he would tell me not to mind him. So we got talking and I started liking him. Before you knew it, I was writing poems and love letters to him as per Art student wey I be na. [ALSO READ: My First Love Was A Chaotic Love Triangle]
After a while, he told me that day we met officially wasn't the first day he saw me. That the first day he saw me he liked me but he couldn't talk to me because he was with his mum in her car.
Yeah. So we started dating till I gained admission. We used to live close to each other so there was that as well. He is my first love.
How old were you then?
17 when we started dating and we were together till my second year in uni when he became too busy for me. So I started seeing other people. Our love story is actually weird. We liked fighting a lot back then. We could go two months without talking to each other and one day we would call ourselves and just pick it up from there.
Ahahn. But why?
I was young and he was always busy because he was a medical student. So he was always stressed and all.
Obviously this impacted the relationship.
Of course. We were always fighting and at some point, it just pushed me into the arms of other people. I mean other guys.
But you were still dating him
Only for a while. Eventually, we just separated for good.
Gist me with plenty details
Like I said, he wasn't always around so there was really no issue or risk of him finding out. But it didn’t even take long before we both just went our separate ways.
I guess that breakup conversation must have been a bit difficult
We didn't talk about it oh. We just stopped calling each other. Ghosting is actually my thing
LOL. Anyway, we went our separate ways till I graduated. Then sometime during my service year, I saw a picture of him online as I was always stalking his page. He wore agbada in the picture and I thought he was married. That actually made me feel bad. But thankfully he wasn’t married. Whew! Relief. Shortly afterwards sha, I messaged him and we started talking again. So it happened that he was going to come around and I was going home as well, so we planned to meet when we get home.
We met at home and traveled to Ibadan the following day, as he had something to do there. After he was done with his thing, we went shopping and also saw a movie together. On our way back, there was mad traffic and it was raining, so we had to spend the night in Ibadan. We ended up staying in the same room, and that was when we had a lengthy conversation on why the relationship didn't work before. We then concluded that we were both at fault for how things turned out between us earlier. And of course, I was single then so we clicked again and started dating afresh in 2019.
I know right.
Oh wait. Was he single though?
He wasn't! He was dating one girl that was almost forcing him to marry her.
But he said a known devil is better than an unknown angel. So, he chose me.
Look at God
Did you get back with him because you had always wanted him back? Or did the second chance catch you by surprise?
I think we were just natural to each other. Reason why we didn't force things to work sef when we weren't together. Me stalking his page… I can't even answer that question… I just happen to always check up on him.
So what happened after you got back together?
We got pregnant and got married.
He said it was something he should have done a long time ago. Our baby will be one later this year.
Omo! I didn’t see that coming at all
Big one. But congratulations. I love happy endings.
I gotta ask though: did he tell you about that other babe who wanted him to marry her or did you find out for yourself?
They broke up and he told me.
Oh nice. You know not many people end up marrying their first love
Oh definitely. And I consider this the best choice I made. Sometimes I feel like it’s a match made in heaven. We understand ourselves a lot. Even his family members don't understand him the way I do.
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