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Relationship Talk How do I stop my girl of 3 years from leaving me for good?

I still love this woman and want her back. I am ready to forgive her even if she has slept with other guys.

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So how do you know that you are engaged to the wrong person? play

So how do you know that you are engaged to the wrong person?

(Iyanda's Diary)

Hello. A while back I lost a relationship of three years all because I couldn't manage situation.

We have been dating for three years and I am bold to say we loved each other dearly but unfortunately some months back tension brewed between us.

The first time, her mum intervened and we moved on but about two months afterwards, the tension was back all because she said I was monitoring her too much which to me sounds like an untenable excuse.

We have been cohabiting for some time before she travelled during which period I was calling her. She refused picking my calls, ignored my messages on social media and blacklisted my number on her phone.

A friend of mine called her and she told him that we are no longer dating. I called her one time and she gave her phone to a guy who told me never to call her again and that he is her boyfriend.

When we met, I tried talking to her but she humiliated me for no reason which made me slap her (I am disappointed by that though).

I have begged her. People that matter to me have begged her. I know all the signs are pointing to the fact that she wants out.

Recently, she is been using a guy as her status picture on social media and anytime I called she would abuse me.

Last week the mum and I spoke and it’s obvious she still likes me and want me to marry her daughter but it seems the daughter's mind is made up.

The mum told me to come over to her house in Lagos probably by December because I stay in Abuja.

I am confused either to go or not because I am not so much in good terms with the father unlike the mother and she said maybe I need to talk to the father as well.

The truth is that I still love this woman and want her back anf I am ready to forgive her even if she has slept with other guys. Please I need your candid advice on what to do.

N.B: She still stalks me on social media although we don't chat.

Dear reader,

Both of you have wronged each other obviously and both of you have hurt each other with your actions.

I won’t say one offense is greater than the other because that’s not what matters, really. It is the amount of hurt that the person felt that actually does.

What I need you to know however, is that, the fact that you are willing to forgive her does not automatically mean she has to forgive you. Please don’t feel any sense of entitlement to her forgiveness.

Having said that; I think you can only go as far as forcing a horse to a river, you can’t force it to drink.

So you just have keep apologizing for as long as you can handle.  You actually need to look for a way to have a face-to-face conversation with her. Try and do what you can to get that one chance.

Even if that meeting will be where you get the unwanted reality that you’ll never get her back, I think you should pull all strings to still set it up.

Tender your case, apologise and say all you want to say. It could either spell the beginning of something better for you both.

It could also be the last nail in the coffin for the relationship.

Whatever happens though, please do not resort to violence. Even if she becomes disrespectful or rude again, please don’t you lay your hands on her.

If you can’t be sure of keeping in the tense emotions that might arise at the meeting, don’t bother setting it up.

One last thing, I think you have no business placing hopes in what someone’s parents tell you they want. All confirmation should come from the girl herself and not any of her parents.

I hope things work out well for you.
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