#PulseFirstLove is a weekly series that captures the emotions people felt, and the motions they went through the first time they tried being in a relationship.
The man in this episode of #PulseFirstLove says that he didn’t find true love until his second relationship. But there was a common theme both times - they both cheated on him. One just hurt more than the other.
Gist me about the first time you ever had a crush on someone?
Lol. My first crush, I think, was in JSS 1. I was 10, new into JSS 1 and she was the prettiest girl in the class and the smartest as well. I would go home everyday thinking about her, learning backstreet boys dance moves just to impress her the following day. I think she knew that I liked her a lot but somehow I never got the balls to ask her out. We later became friends after secondary school, through uni and all and we always knew there was this tension anytime we were in the same space. She’s married with kids now sha.
Mad. Tell me about the first time you wooed a babe?
Well. I wouldn’t necessarily say I wooed her. She was the new girl and I just walked up to her one day with a kind of boldness even King Solomon of the bible didn’t have to introduce myself to her. She just smiled and left. Few days later, she calls me to a quiet corner in our school and says ‘’I think I like you a lot and want you to be my boyfriend.’’ I did not sleep for three nights!.
Leemau. I can imagine. Tell me about your first babe though. How did y’all meet?
Sincerely, my first official girlfriend was in uni. I saw her with her friends at our campus fellowship freshers canopy. We were trying to lure them to our fellowship during matriculation. So we kept on staring at each other, sizing each other up. I told my friend “Dude I think I have found my girlfriend.” Maybe it was love at first sight. It took me the whole semester trying to get her sha. After the holiday and endless midnight calls, she finally agreed.
How old were you at this point?
When I met her, I was 20. Yes I was this old before I had my first girlfriend.
Lol. No judgement bruh. How did you know you were in love with her?
Spent my teenage years doing what teenage boys do.
Don’t ask me man. Lol.
OK. Oya go on.
I can’t tell if it was love at first sight sha but I realised I was always talking about her. I would dress up every evening to go see her. Our friends knew we were crazy about each other. Yeah, we were.
And how was the relationship?
The relationship can be described as the typical university kind of relationship. Oh I forgot to add the part where I had to lie about my age. She was a year older than me so there was no way I was going to let her know. We used to go out on a lot of evening strolls. It was everything we both wanted. She used to stalk me (I pretended like I didn’t know). It was cute! Lol! We dated till my final year so she was my date to all those dinners.
First love is what always leads to the first breakup. How was that like for you?
Well I have to say that I do not consider my first girlfriend to be my first love.
My first love wasn’t my girlfriend from uni though. I met my first love after NYSC. She was the looooooooove of my life. Like we were so in love. She was the girlfriend all my friends and family members knew.
Interesting. Will get to that later. Tell me about that breakup
The break up was crazy! I got a job in Abuja and she was still in uni...I guess she got tired of the distance and all. It was during the BBM era...she put up a photo of another guy and I was shocked. I sha forgave her after her friends begged. Well that was the beginning of the end of the relationship. We later broke up but we struggled to move on. I’ll admit that. She kept calling me with private numbers for months. We sha finally moved on.
Now that you’re old what do you think you should have done differently?
I think communication was the problem. Maybe if I had gotten off my high horse to talk about the situation, as opposed to just letting it fester, things would have been different.
So what happened to your first love?
Guyyyyy. That babe
I’m all ears
To be honest, she was everything. Like, everything. But for some reason, she started seeing someone while we were still dating and was hoping to maintain the two relationships. I don’t even know what I did to deserve that. First relationship, and now this girl I genuinely loved as well. Well, there was a caught sha.
I dey tell you. She was from a very wealthy home and so pride did not allow her beg and even though she tried to make us get back together… she didn't beg for forgiveness so I was like naaaah.
Having two women play you back to back like that. Did it affect or change you in any way?
Oh yes it did. I was scared of dating for a while. Didn't know what to expect
Sorry about that. Let’s talk about the first tie you had sex
The first time I had sex, it was probably the best thing to happen to me after passing Jamb. I had sex pretty early but surprisingly I didnt have sex again till I was 21. It was short but in my mind the sex was like sex from those scenes from the movie: ‘Indescent Proposal.’ It was just two teenagers trying out something crazy. We never talked about it after that day. But we gave each other this ‘I was your first’ look everytime we saw each other.
Lol. I know that look. What’s the most memorable thing about this particular relationship?
It wasn’t a relationship, we just wanted to have sex with each other.
Ah. I see. What will you say is the biggest lesson you took out of it?
My biggest lesson from that was ‘watch a lot of porn oooo before you go and be doing like manual gear in a car during sex.’
What ideas did you have about love that you are ashamed of now?
For love, I used to think it was about going to the beach, flowers and making dance videos...oops! Well for marriage, I thought happy marriages only happened out of luck! Na you’ve got to put in a lot of hard work for any marriage to last long.
Are you guys still in touch?
I’m old o!!! All my exes are married. I don’t stay in touch with ex girlfriends.
Would you date her now?
Yes I would. She was an amazing person. We probably would have been able to handle our decisions better.
Tell me a secret you kept in that relationship that could have ended it?
If I tell you, then it’s no longer a secret.