My boyfriend has never commented on my looks… should I be bothered?

oke efagene

February 5, 2015 3:21 PM

He has never ever voiced out what he thinks about my appearance; whether to say I look beautiful or ugly. Each time I ask him, he would talk about something else instead.

Hello Aunty Bukky,

My name is Fola, I am 25 years old and I’m in a relationship with a 27-year-old guy I met six years ago while we were still studying at the same university. In all our years of dating, not once has my boyfriend commented on my looks.

He has never ever voiced out what he thinks about my appearance; whether to say I look beautiful or ugly. Each time I ask him, he would talk about something else instead. I know this may sound like a minor issue, but it’s taking a toll on my self-esteem. Do I look so horrible that he just can’t say it out loud? He tells me he loves me, but I find it hard to believe at times.

Please how do I overcome this problem? Do you think it’s something I should be bothered about or not? Thanks!

Hi Fola,

I absolutely understand you dilemma. While this is not exactly a major issue, it is however, disturbing. It is very unusual to be with someone for so long and not even have something to say about their appearance. That said, I don’t think this really something you should be seriously bothered about, especially if he loves you and expresses it too.

I know your self-esteem is taking a blow from this, but you have to realize that self-love is the best love. If you love and appreciate yourself the way you are, it wouldn’t matter much if your boyfriend is not gracious enough to verbally acknowledge it. So long as he is not being abusive and treats you well, then there is really no cause for alarm.

Also, you should raise the topic with him one of these days when he is in a pleasant mood and you two are having a nice time. Ask him why he has never talked about your appearance and listen intently to what he has to say. Till then, be happy with who you are and stay beautiful!

Over to you guys, do you have any advice for Fola? If you do, kindly write it in the comments box and please, let’s be kind and refrain from using harsh negative words.

If you a question or relationship issue you’d like to share with Aunty Bukky, kindly send it to this email address: info@pulse.ng

oke efagene