5 reasons nice guys always end up as losers
Have you ever wondered why guys who are so nice even to a fault, hardly have stable and steady relationships? Pulse List brings you the five key reasons.
Or you may be the guy who should have all the ladies eating out of your palms or worshiping the ground they walk but do you know too much niceness makes a man look creepy?
You may end up being single while the badass guys get the babes you long for and you wonder where you went wrong with all the good qualities attached to you.
The point is that we all know where nice guys are coming from. They feel women are to be treated like eggs, with so much care and attention but my brothers, too much of everything makes you look like a geek.
So if you don't understand how your sweetness and good intentions could possibly scare anyone away, then sit back and guzzle this piece.
1. The big, sweet hopeless romantic
You might think being a big, sickly and hopeless romantic is a magnet that draws the babes to you and they will be crawling around you like ants to sugar.
You think sending those romantic text messages five times a day to the girl you are after will make her melt and come running to her knight in shining armor.
But if you take a sample of ladies and ask them what they find creepiest about men, 85% of them will likely tell you the over romantic guy scares them away.
This might cut it in the movies, after all, it is all make believe but this is real life bro and they do not need that clingy stuff. In real life, there are just so many ways to get it wrong.
If you want to cut it with most women, start small. Nothing big. Nothing intense. Nothing like pledging undying love. Don't even blow your romantic wad on someone you haven't actually dated yet, or worse is in a relationship with someone else.
2. The grand generous gesture
A Mr. Nice Guy will always want to show how generous he is and would always go out of his way to fulfilling every desire of his object of attraction but in the end, he ends up as the maga who is used to get by.
While you are wasting your money and gifts on her, she is probably sharing her time with one broke ass bad guy somewhere and in some instances, she could be using your wad to take care of her main guy.
Research has shown that money, most times, makes people weird. That big generous gesture of yours might even be self-sabotaging.
The maxim that Nigerian ladies love guys who spend big on them might be true but if you start the chasing game by showing how generous you are, be prepared for a shock when she decides to give you the hand when you decide to play it low for a while.
3. Showering her with attention all the time
ladies love attention, yes plenty of them but mind you, this is after you must have cornered their hearts o. But have you ever wondered why most nice guys who give their women much attention end up losing her?
For most women, nothing is creepier than a guy who smothers her by wanting to be around her, all the time, calling her every 10 minutes to find out where she is, who she is with and what she is doing at that particular time.
Guy, that is not love but stalking and it shows you are not confident of keeping the woman to yourself if you do not monitor her moves.
This is really bad news for nice guys because wanting exactly that is in their nature. They click like on all of her social media posts, offer to help her with work, hobbies, homework.
They show up when she closes from work to take her home. For the nice guy, being with his woman every minute of the day is a sign of his love for her but hey, you should know you are not Siamese twins and she needs some time alone, some girls-alone time.
Some ladies freak out when a guy seems to be all over her, checking her up at odd times and wanting to know what she is doing at all times.
Women see such guys as being controlling and possessive and chances are that they may not want to take the affair further, leaving you in the lurch.
4. The over protective Nice Guy
The Nice Guy fancies himself as being the Don Juan and Robin Hood when it comes to the object of his heart. They believe the woman is so fragile and needs to be protected and they have taken it upon themselves to provide that protection.
Yes, it is noble to want to protect your woman but do you also know that too much of it can be patronizing and extremely annoying?
This is because you are basically telling a fellow grown human being that you know better than her and she's not smart enough to know what she's gotten herself into.
Whether you like it or not, she's got a reason for doing whatever she's doing. Sure, you can offer to weigh in as a friend but be prepared that she might not want to hear your opinion and it's likely to piss her off.
Her body, heart, future, and mind are her business. Those things belong to her. Not you. Forgetting that, or acting like she doesn't make good decisions, or nagging her about her life will make you look like an asshole and fast.
You care. You're nice. But whether you like it or not, know it that sometimes, being too nice really is the problem.
5. Nice Guys are afraid of confrontations
It is true that nice people don't like fighting; they don't like hurting people, so they don't risk confrontation. Because of that, they often don't say what they mean.
They also don't like rejection, so instead of just coming out and saying they're interested in a woman, they drop hints. Then they get frustrated and hurt when that person doesn't catch on. Unfortunately, that all adds up to make you look like a petrified little kid.
If nice people are lucky enough to get into a relationship, they'll do just about anything to keep it, which often means avoiding arguments.
They won't bring up what's bothering them especially if the source of that hurt is the partner.
Instead, they hide it, ignore it, or sugar coat it for a long time until they finally hit a breaking point, and it shoots out of their mouths like an emotional projectile vomit. What should have been a simple, honest conversation turns into a huge blow-out argument.
Guy, conflicts, and confrontations are a major part of relationships. You can't ask her out if you can't confront her. You can't fix a fractured relationship if you don't talk about the conflict.
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