Here's what would happen if Mark Zuckerberg had to appear before Nigeria's National Assembly
This hilarious Twitter Thread starts with people from Zuckerberg's hometown singing for their son's freedom.
Someone has decided to bring the story a little closer to home by re-imagining what would happen if Mark Zuckerberg were to testify before the Nigerian National Assembly in the ongoing investigation of the Facebook data breach scandal.
Big English. But basically, imagine what would happen if Mark Zuckerberg was Nigerian and after Facebook had done something wrong, like grant private companies (and foreign governments) access to your personal information, he had to appear before Nigerian lawmakers.
Twitter user, Demola (@omogbajabiamila) decided to give us this peep into Nigerian idiocy in a Twitter thread assisted with memes.
“A night before the testimony, a group of rented crowds from Mpape and Gwagwalada areas of Abuja will be ready on the ground close to the National Assembly holding placards with inscriptions such as “Live Mark NsukkaBag Alone”, “This is Witchhunt”, “Our Son is Innocent”, the first tweet reads.
While the offline activism waxes louder, paid online warriors will ensure that the #WeStandWithMark hashtag trends on social media.
Like a true son of his father, Mark will enter the National Assembly with moves, panache and half of his hometown dressed for the wrong party behind him.
After a quick prayer session and some whispers from senators asking each other what they’re supposed to do with this NsukkaBag person, the session will begin with none other than the ever-trendy meerkat of Kogi, budding musician and Instagram influencer, Senator Dino Melaye.
Because Senator Melaye is not about to ask any groundbreaking questions, someone, most likely Senator Ben Murray-Bruce asks Zuckerberg how much Facebook is worth.
“64 BILLION DOLLARS”, he responds.
On hearing this amount, pandemonium ensues in the minds of the senators, as well as our President’s beloved press aides, who scramble to find a way to link to the coming elections.
All sorts of crazy questions follow.
“While all these was ongoing in the NASS, Governor Yahaya Bello was somewhere in Abuja, hoping to see Mark Zuckerberg & talk him into attending Kogi Investment Summit & of course catch a glimpse of Zarah Buhari one more time.”, another tweet reads.
The shenanigans continue, until Zuckerberg mentions his plan to use Facebook to monitor the 2019 elections so there is no rigging.
Deep inside the hallowed chambers, you begin to hear the sound of heartbeats racing, livers cutting and tables falling over each other.
News breaks almost immediately that the National Assembly has sponsored a bill to stop Zuckerberg from using Facebook to monitor the 2019 elections. It passes very quickly.
“After asking irrelevant questions, NASS members bring the ‘successful’ probe to an end as they troop out in their ‘Agbadas’ to take group photos with Mark Zuckerberg. Trust Dino Melaye to get a selfie he will use to tension Yahaya Bello.”
Truth or Nah
We’re certain that if he was Nigerian, appearing before the National Assembly would be the least of Mark Zuckerberg’s worries, he’d have to deal with entire groups of people gathered in front of his house, with bands singing his family’s oriki.
What makes Demola’s thread of memes all the more realistic is that it is as close to reality as they come.
In a series of tweets that seeks to lampoon Nigerian lawmakers and how far our society has plunged into the doldrums, much of what Demola has associated with the lawmakers, activists and ‘fans’ is what they do on a regular basis.
It’s funny that when people say Nigeria is a joke, we often raise our voices in patriotic dissent; then they tell us why or show us in memes, and we suddenly have nothing to say.
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