10 dumb things Muslims in Nigeria are tired of hearing

Here’s a compilation of the most painstakingly stupid and funny things Muslims in Nigeria get to hear.


If you’re a Muslim in Nigeria there will be a few ridiculous items of surprise you will be subjected to and some are just downright dumb. Perhaps some of the dumbest and most ignorant reactions will be thrust upon you, forcing you to either fake smile or walk away.

As a Muslim I have encountered a few myself. Here’s a compilation of the most painstakingly stupid things Muslims in Nigeria get to hear. P.S - Meant in good fun!

1. You’re from Ekiti. Then how are you a Muslim ?

Because geography and religion are one and the same thing.

2. Can you teach me some swear words in Arabic or Hausa?

These languages are not meant to be sworn in, schmucks! And i don't even understand hausa

3. Don’t you feel hungry while fasting?

What else does Fasting mean biko.

4.  You’re a Muslim, so you’re obviously good at Hausa

What? No comment

5. Are your grandparents hausa

And that is relevant because?

6. You would’ve been to Saudi Arabia or any other part of the gulf right?

If we can afford a trip abroad, we would like to go to many other places as well. Are any of you sponsoring?

7. You guys can marry as many times as you want

Oh well, there are conditions.

8. Isn’t it very hot inside the Hijab/Niqab?

There are inbuilt ACs inside, Duh!

9. Tell me seriously, and don’t mind me asking, but do you have any connections with any terrorist squad?

Come, we will take you on a guided tour to Sambisa forest. Its time we hook you up.

10.  Can you marry a Christian?

Why do you even ask huh?


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