Stop looking for ready-made partners and perfect relationships; they don't exist

Obviously, social media these days is pretty much a microcosm of ideas, a potpourri of opinions submitted from different angles and perspectives. Many of these usually reflect popular behaviour, thoughts and common beliefs shared by society.

Perfectly referred to as micro-blogging sites, one gets personal thoughts from websites such as Twitter enough to feel the Pulse of society; as well as expressions that reflect what everyone or a select group of people think of certain issues.

So when you stumble on certain tweets such as the one that spawned this opinion piece, it becomes obvious that people really do believe the wildest, most outrageous things and need to be set straight on wise ways to approach life issues and situations.

It is important to be the person that your partner can always count on at all times. [Credit: Video Blocks] Pulse Nigeria

On the matter of finding the right man and being treated right

A train of thought shared by Twitter user, Rara‏ [@shinrakyot], recommends that when it comes to getting the best kind of loving available and finding the perfect man who is capable of providing the optimum kind of relational and emotional bliss, this is what women should always do:

“Don’t teach your boyfriend how to be your boyfriend. don’t ask him to show [you] off , don’t ask him to text [you] , don’t ask him to care about [you], don’t ask him to bring [you] flowers.

“Don’t ask him to plan dates [and] don’t beg for love. The right man will do anything [and] everything for [you].

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A look into the comments section shows that people really do agree with this. And the fact that it’s been liked over 21k times and retweeted over 7k times at the time of writing this piece may be further evidence that this thought really resonates with a lot of women.

And that is actually… scary. And absurd. And confusing as hell.

Scary because, as a guy, the possibility that I or anyone I know would date a woman who moves with this mindset is real. Absurd because, hell, communication is well known as the bedrock of all successful relationships. Being told to not express your wishes to the man you hope to date and find happiness with is surely nothing but absurd.

Imagine being told to not communicate how you love to be loved. [Credit: SG Hunter] Pulse Nigeria

And this opinion is also confusing because; aren’t women always the most vocal gender on the issue of communication in relationships? How, then, are you going to ask for something you don’t give?

And really, in general, that opinion or any other one which promotes the misapplication or shutting down of communication in a relationship doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously because...

Perfect boyfriends and husbands are actually imperfect beings, too

Many women sadly have the idealistic notion that when they meet the ‘perfect’ man, everything will simply just fall in place; that he will magically see all of their wishes and make them happen, that he will come with a fore-knowledge of how they need to be loved and how best to treat them rightly but this is not true. Again, opinions that push this narrative are not good for you. Even the most ‘perfect’ of men may never be enough for you until they hear what it takes to actually be that perfect man for you.

Happy couple sharing a smile [Credit: Dean Mitchell Getty] Pulse Nigeria

Yes, a good man will do all those thoughtful, affectionate and loving things listed above but only because he knows them. Until he really knows how to customise his loving to you, you can’t reasonably expect perfection from him. He’ll treat you in a manner that brings you peace, satisfaction and happiness, but only when he knows what that way is. And this is only made possible by communication.

You make your man perfect for you by letting him in on how you are… your weaknesses and love language and soft spots and highs and lows... and everything he needs to know.

Women who refuse this logic and would rather have men move with guesses and assumptions can kiss perfection goodbye.