"I'm married but in love with two other women"

I love the second more than any of them


Hi Bukky,

I'm married man with 3 kids but there's no happiness in my marriage anymore. I met someone who knows that I'm married but she shows me lots of love and affection.

I recently spoke with a female co-worker thinking that I will get some good advice but she has also shown interest in me. But I love the second more than any of them.

What should I do?



Hi Stephen,

Thanks for sharing your concerns with me.

In every relationship especially marriage, communication is everything. Which means if you aren't talking openly about your problems with the most important person in your life, then your marriage is bound to crumble faster than you expect.

Happiness is never created by one person in marriage , it takes two committed people for a family to be happy. Have you wondered what you are doing wrong or what your spouse isn't doing right that makes happiness a scarce commodity in your home?

If you know these problems, have you tried addressing them with your spouse, getting  a third party like a psychologist involved if necessary? A happy home is very important for the growth of your children into normal adults, so if you want to find a reason, then try to bring back that happiness because of your kids.

Having an extramarital affair can only bring you temporary happiness and cause more pain to your family. You should learn to draw a line between friendship with a woman who isn't your wife and having an emotional or physical affair with her.

As much as you spend more time at work, you shouldn't turn a co-worker into a close confidant because your feelings might get in the way of your productivity. This is why it's advisable not to discuss private matters with colleagues.

I'll advise you stay clear of any complication with your female colleague by defining your friendship. Also make your intentions clear so she doesn't get wrong signals from you.

I wish you the best of luck.


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Yours truly!


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