My man refuses to have sex with me but he does with other women

Relationship Talk With Bukky: My man refuses to have sex with me but he does with other women

Bukky Sanni

January 28, 2019 8:17 AM

When I try initiating sex, he tells me I love sex too much and all I want from him is sex

Sexually frustrated [Credit: The root]

My boyfriend cheats on me he tells other girls he has a girlfriend though and he mentions my name, he tells them "please let me cheat on my girlfriend with you."

All these information I got through his WhatsApp chat with them and he didn't delete because he was unaware that I registered my fingerprints already on his phone's security because we don't check each other's phones.

The thing I also noticed through his chats is that he's crazy about sex because he sex chats a lot and sometimes asks them to take a picture of their vaginas which they do but on this side, he never chats with me that way.

He begs me never to share my nude with any guy even if we are no longer together. Also he rarely has sex with me. Also when I try initiating sex, he tells me I love sex too much and all I want from him is sex. He can't bear some other guys talking to me and he never wants to hear that I'm seeing some other guys.

If we have a misunderstanding, he calls me asap to say sorry and if he's being asked why, he'll say he feels if he doesn't beg asap, someone else will sleep with me and he can't bear the thought of another guy sleeping with me and I never cheated on him.

He begs me every day not to disgrace and rubbish his ego by sleeping with someone else. At a point, we were at the verge of breaking up and all he could tell me is to please not sleep with another aside him until I'm married. I really don't know what to do

He's now serious with me than ever and I recently never caught a sign of him cheating and I thought he changed, only for me to see things I never imagined on his phone tonight. He even sent my picture to one telling her that's my girlfriend.

I want advice.

___________

He sounds to me like one of those people who are consumed with the idea of staying celibate with their main chick till their wedding night, while sleeping with a lot of women in the months/years running till that big day.

Being obsessed with staying off sex with you, could also mean that he does not find you so sexually appealing. Very apparently his reason for asking you to stay off sex with other men is because it would hurt his ego if you do that.

Bottom line here is that this is a really fractured relationship with a lot of issues that need ironing out. I am of the opinion that you should talk to him and ask serious questions.

Also ask yourself if this relationship means much to you. I mean, why are you seeing other guys when you are in a relationship with this one? If you have doubts and no longer think he is worth your time, then let him go instead of being a two-timing woman. I also think that by checking his phone when you both have a policy against that, you have somehow broken his trust but given what you found, judging becomes a little dicey.

Like I said earlier on, this is a less-than-ideal situation and both you and him have to look each other in the eye after personal introspection and decide what’s best for you both- whether to move on to other relationships or whether to continue with each other but with a better decision to do better.

____________

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues? Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail containing your question and location to relationships@pulse.ng, and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it? A problem shared is a problem half-solved!

Bukky Sanni