My girlfriend of 2 years doesn't want have sex before marriage but she is not a virgin

Dear Bukky,

My girlfriend of two years insists that we won't have sex before marriage. I would have understood it if she was a virgin, but she has had two boyfriends in the past which she had sex with.

So why can't she have sex with me?

It pisses me off so much that I am considering leaving her. She's not a virgin but wants me to wait till marriage, what exactly am I waiting for?

I need to know how it feels to have sex with the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, before I put that ring on it.

______________

Dear reader,

First of all, in the midst of all your agitation, have you actually understood why exactly she is choosing to stay away from sex for this particular relationship? I noticed you left that detail out. What if she has chosen to treat your relationship differently from the previous, because she is more invested emotionally and doesn't want it to end the way the others did?

Secondly, waiting till marriage to have sex is more than the process of sex itself. You need to stop having the mentality that because she isn't a virgin, then she doesn't have the right to choose to wait. Everyone has that choice.

Lastly, if you've been able to wait for the past two years, why the sudden need to have sex with her. If you saw her as the woman you will spend the rest of your life with and you chose to wait for the past two years, then I don't see why you cannot wait till you are actually married.

However, if you do not see yourself marrying her or you see sex as a deal breaker, then I would advise you to respect her choices and go your separate ways.

You both deserve partners that are on the same page with you so you do not need to compromise your values.

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