Relationship Talk With Bukky: My girl wants space because I could not pay her school fees

Dear Bukky,

I have issues currently with my relationship because my girlfriend asked me to give her some space for now.

Things had been going well with us but recently she got admission into university which I contributed to the process. But now she needed cash to pay for acceptance fee, house rent and school fee and I couldn't help her. She started becoming easily annoyed and when I call her she acts as if am disturbing her.

So yesterday she asked for space for now and when I asked her why she is doing so; she said it’s because of the things she is passing through, not being able to pay her fees and the misunderstanding between us.

She added that she is not quitting the relationship but just asking for some time to be by herself.

Should I wait for her and if yes how long? Should I call her during this period? Should I care for her in terms of cash?

What would your advice to me be?___________

Dear reader,

You owe her no financial obligation as a matter of compulsion. That much is certain.

Whatever cash or material gift you choose to give her is not your duty, it is a gift and that is how you should always view it.

Should you give her money? Of course, as much as you can afford. She is your girlfriend and loving is always all about sharing. When you love someone you would love to share stuff with them; whether it is your time, resources and other stuff. However, a good partner will never make you feel like it is something you owe them. If you have done your best, it does not matter if it is enough or not. You should never feel bad.

Being her boyfriend is not an agreement to become the one bearing all her financial responsibilities. If she is angry and acting up because you could not meet her financial needs, maybe you need to have a sit down with her and let her know that that is too much of a demand to place on you. You’re a boyfriend, not a husband or father.

Also if she wants space, give her some. But before doing so, ask her how much time she wants. If she is asking for too much time, say a time longer than two weeks, I think that is unhealthy and you should look for ways to ensure the break does not go on for that long.

Our article here will explain more why relationship breaks are not so advisable for healthy relationships.____________

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