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How to be in a private relationship without getting secretive about it

Keeping your relationship private is good. Keeping it a secret is bad.

Coded Couple [iStock]

For many, the most notable sign of being in love or getting into a new relationship is how ceaselessly they talk about their new partner. You could be talking about something totally unrelated and they’ll look for a way to bring their new girlfriend or boyfriend into it.

On the flipside, it is also quite common to hear people say they don’t like putting their relationships out there. Just as you have people that share everything about their relationships, you also have people who won’t breathe a word about it, even if you press them repeatedly.

It is perfectly OK if a private relationship or marriage is what you want. But just be sure that you are keeping a private relationship and not a secret relationship because there’s actually a difference. In fact, some people who keep their relationships secret think they are just being private about it.

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If no one knows that you are in a relationship, despite having been asked severally, or having been presented with the opportunity to indicate your relationship status, then you are keeping it secret. Being asked if you are in a relationship and not stating your answer clearly – YES or NO – is wrong. It could be rightly interpreted as you lying.

And lying about your relationship status almost always means one thing – you are considering the possibility of cheating, or hoping to 'sexually defraud' someone by making them believe you are single when you are not. That’s just sneaky and deceptive. Some may also say this is a sigh that you are ashamed of your partner - and they won't entirely be wrong.

Being private about your relationship means that although you are not excessively loud and or annoying with it all the time, you are still unequivocally truthful about being in one. However, that’s all you let people know.

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You don’t go on social media to show every gift your boo bought, you don’t do everything for the gram, you don’t tell your friends every time you have sex with your girl, your girls don’t get the complete gist of every moment spent with bae. Private relationships are defined by how limited of the details that The minimal the information you share with close friends, family member and social media, the better.

Just look at Beyonce and Jay Z's marriage as an example, as well as Simi and Adekunle Gold's. Despite being such public, popular figures, they keep such a tight lid on what gets out and what does not. You know they are a couple but that's pretty much it. You only know what they want you to - and they feed the public crumbs every now and then.

That’s how to be private in relationships.

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