First meeting with in-laws, dos and don'ts

Meeting your fiancé's parents for the first time can be a nerve-racking experience. It's important to make a good impression and not give them any reason to dislike you because having a bad relationship with them will affect your marriage negatively.

Things you should never do at your in-law's house on the first visit

Here are some things you should avoid when you meet your in-laws:

1. Never meet them empty-handed

No matter where you are coming from, always come with a gift. It is bad manners everywhere to visit someone without bringing something along. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate gift since you don’t know them well and you don’t want them to think you are trying to buy their affection. I’ll recommend a food and fruit hamper.

2. Never talk too much; be an active listener

No one enjoys a know-it-all. Strike a balance between being polite and engaging in conversation. Ask questions about your in-laws' lives, hobbies, and interests. Listen attentively and avoid dominating the conversation. Plus, the more you talk, the more likely you are to say something stupid. Avoid controversial topics; this is not the time to be an activist; you are trying to build a good rapport, not debate.

3. Never refuse to do chores. Offer to help, but don't force it

Meeting your in-laws for the first time [istockphoto] Pulse Nigeria

No one is saying to enter the kitchen and start cooking. While you don't want to appear lazy, avoid intruding in the kitchen or anywhere else. Subtly ask your partner beforehand what they will expect or ask your in-laws if there's anything you can do to help. If they decline, graciously accept their hospitality.

4. Never dress indecently

The first thing people access is your dressing. Avoid overly casual clothes, revealing clothing, or anything that may be culturally insensitive. We are not saying to do something extreme, like cut your dreads; you don’t want to present a false impression but look like you are going to see nobility and royalty. Look decent!

5. Be overly critical of their customs or traditions

You might marry into a culture that’s different from yours. The best thing you can do is respect their culture. If they kneel to greet, then do so. Remember, when your partner visits your family, you will want them to respect your own culture. Except that the culture is barbaric and illegal, it takes nothing from you to respect theirs.