Stop treating sex as a favour to men

Sex is meant to be consensual, mutually enjoyed and satisfying for the people engaging in it.

Regardless, many women – far too many – still see sex as some form of gift to a man. That’s why it is not uncommon to hear women say after a break up that a guy

This silly belief seems to have stemmed from a sillier reasoning that women are to give sex in return for a guy’s love; which explains why they’d feel used after fulfilling their end of the bargain [give him sex], and he refused to do his part [give love/marriage].

Another supposed reason for this can be traced to how the Nigerian/African society traditionally views sex and its pursuit.

It seems acceptable when a guy actively pursues a babe with the intent of having sex with her, but for a woman to do this would be indecorous and ‘demeaning’ of her womanhood.

Society promotes chastity especially for women and though this hasn’t really stopped premarital sex from being rampant, the way women view sex remains pretty much the same.

[No available link text]They see it as something that needs to be asked and begged for, something men need to cajole them and work hard for, before they then reluctantly release it.

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This behavior trickles into some relationships and even marriages; where wives treat sex as some form of 'reward' to be given only on demand, and to be withheld whenever they feel like it.

But that’s some messed up way to view sex.

First, because women actually enjoy sex than men, as a matter of fact.

Also men tend to do more exertion during sex than women. So if men do almost all the work during sex and women enjoy the act more, how does it make sense for sex to be seen as a gift to men?

Once you decide to have an active sexual life either in a relationship or after marriage, you need to realise that sex is not a tool to fight your partner and that the vagina is not a gift.

Of course men think of sex more and are more vocal and relentless in their pursuit of sexual gratification, it still does not justify thinking that sex is a gift you give.

Sex is meant to be consensual and when you agree to have sex with someone, you need to take responsibility for that action.

So quit pretending like you never get horny and that you're only having sex because the guy asked or pushed for it.

Of course, men have been known to say a lot of untrue things in a bid to get women to have sex with them but it does not change the fact – you do not give a guy sex, you only agree to have sex with him.