It's really stupid, mean to blame grieving D'banj and wife for son's death

chibumga izuzu

June 25, 2018 12:51 PM

As D'banj and his wife mourn the death of a 13-month old son they loved so much, try empathy and kindness, not blame.

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But not all of it. Spattered across social media, online comments on several platforms and on D'banj's posts, some people are assigning blame.

In this moment of pain, there are insensitive comments like: "Arrest them for negligence." "Charge them." "They are to blame - especially, the mother." "What kind of mother allows herself to get distracted?"

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These insensitive comments to such a tragic and unforeseeable accident is a sign that empathy - the ability to put oneself in another person's emotional shoes - is fast becoming a thing of the past.

In this social media era, it has become so easy to sit behind keyboards and criticize the parenting skill of another. It has become easy to feel numb to the pain of parents mourning the death of their only child, who only turned one few weeks ago.

It has become easy to be self-righteous when we should be sympathizing. We forget that a parent or nanny could lose sight of a child for a few split seconds. And that sometimes, all it takes for things to go wrong in life is a few split seconds.

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The loss of a child is the most traumatic experience a parent can go through. A piece of them is lost and there's a hole in their soul that may never heal. Many blame themselves and ask, "what could I have done differently?'

They wonder, "if only I had." They replay the events of the sad day, trying to figure out how they could have prevented the accident.

Sometimes the anger kicks in: They are angry with themselves, their spouse, nanny, or even God. The hurt of losing a child they once held in their arm never goes away.

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A mother and father, who loved and planned for their son's future, suddenly have to deal with the fact that he is no more. And rather than condole and sympathize with them, there's a voracious need on the internet to find fault.

With the death of their son, D'banj and his wife are on a journey that they never in a million years thought they would make.

So what if, instead of blaming someone, you pause for a minute and try something else: walk in their shoes, and imagine their pain and regrets.

As the Oyebanjos mourn the death of a 13-month old son they loved so much, try empathy and kindness, not blame.

chibumga izuzu