Women Talk Sex: It’s hard to not compare when you have more than one partner

‘#WomenTalkSexByPulse’ is Pulse’s weekly series designed to capture the thoughts of everyday Nigerian women on sexual health, pleasure, and what women expect good sex to be and feel like. Feel free to fill this tiny form if you'd like to chat with us and feature on this series.

#WomenTalkSex today is a conversation on reclaiming your sexiness after going on ‘mummy break’. Our subject talks about her two talking stages. and how she’s currently dealing with the situation. While she’s waiting to make a final decision though, she’s basking in the attention as much as she can — and catching many orgasms while at it. Read on.

Tell me about your first time

NYSC. I was 23 and reluctantly decided to do it to please my boyfriend then. Turns out that I really liked it but I didn’t enjoy the feeling for long.

Why not?

First I kinda felt disappointed in myself for doing it to please and not because I really wanted it. Then I and the idiot started having issues shortly after, making it even more painful for me.

Does sex still come with guilt for you?

Uhm, I wouldn’t say what I felt then was guilt. I think it was more of anger. We had been having relationship issues before we had sex.

Because of sex?

Yeah. And other things. But he had been lowkey pressuring me for sex and I wasn’t feeling like doing it mostly because we were 4 months into the relationship and we always had issues. So I didn’t feel comfortable fucking because I kinda knew we weren’t going to last and I didn’t want him to have a part of me like that. Or better put, I was hoping we would become a bit more stable in the relationship before sex became a thing for us. But laslas, we knacked and the relationship crashed. I was mad and disappointed in myself.

The good sex wasn’t consolation?

Not when you had it with someone you really liked but was a complete asshole. That kinda waters down the whole memory of your first time.

Word. How’s your sex life going now though?

I was in the streets for a while, then I had my baby and mothering kicked my horniness to the curb. But I’m back at it now sha. You can’t mother well if you are cranky all the time, you know.

No lies detected. So, sex to take off the edge?

Every damn time. For now, all I have are two sneaky links. I don’t really want anyone around my baby till I am certain that we are going somewhere. So my two talking stages are currently auditioning. LOL. They know about my kid and they’re cool with it but I am still holding back from making a definitive choice. I guess I’m keeping my choices open.

Is it safe to say their sexual abilities will be factored into that decision when the time comes?

Not majorly. But it certainly will. I am not one of those babes that ask if sex is food because, omo, it is o. There is only one food for the down below, and it is knacks. But our relationship and what’s good for my kid will also play a big role.

Tell me… do you find yourself comparing?

Of course! Can anyone help that? I think it’s only normal o.

Up to the sex part?

Especially the sex part! LMAO. Don’t you know that it’s hard to not compare your ex with your present? Now imagine doing two people side by side… of course, your brain will force you to compare.

And you already have a preference, yes?

I don’t want to dwell on that. For now, I am just enjoying the attention, good vibes and occasional knacks. May the best man win.

Amen to that. How would you rate your sex life on a scale of 1-10?

7. When I finally get into an exclusive relationship, I intend to ride up to a perfect 10.

Yup. Riding sounds just perfect

LOL. You know ball.

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