When you are single and ready to mingle but nothing seems to be coming forth; there’s a tendency to consider yourself, see your great traits and wonderful features and conclude that you’re alright and it is only a matter of time before someone great comes along.

But, really, will it be a matter of time, or a matter of change?

Maybe your singleness is not so much an issue of visibility than it is a matter self-delusion. What if you really are not as great as you’ve made yourself believe? What if you are doing just fine but somehow still fall short of the requirements needed to attract the type of man or woman you have pictured in your mind?

You know, it’s easy to conjure the picture of an ideal partner in your mind but not so easy to have an appropriate mental image of yourself. It may not be so easy to accept that maybe... just maybe you are not really as dope as you think you are.

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If you could date yourself, do you think you would be happy and content in the relationship or marriage? [Credit Shutterstock]

And this is why it is important to frankly ask yourself the introspective question – 'would I date myself?' and always provide brutally-honest self- assessments every time you do so. it should be very frequently, by the way.

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That could be where the key to finding a partner lies for you. Even for people who are already dating and those who are already married, there’s a continuous need for self-assessment, to constantly view one’s self through the clear prism of candid introspection.

You should be honest and selfless enough to ask yourself; will I be happy with my partner if he or she acts this way? Will I be cool with them treating me this way? Will I ever accept this type of behaviour from them?

Instead of expecting your partner to bear your defects, why not try and work on those things yourself. No one likes rubbish. [Credit: Shutterstock]

If there’s some character flaws about you that you would never endure from someone else, don’t be selfishly deluded into thinking they would bear it from you.

It doesn’t work that way. If you wouldn’t take it, get to work on yourself and honestly strive to evolve beyond that. Your [potential] partner does not deserve it, too!

By doing so repeatedly, you continuously become a better version of yourself up till the point where are confident enough to answer in the affirmative when you are asked: “would you date yourself?”