Why you should avoid relationships when you really can't afford them

You need money as much as you need emotional maturity and intelligence in a relationship and until you can afford these, you probably shouldn't be dating.

Transactional relationships

You must have heard people say there's no romance without finance, and that when you have no money, you have no honey. This is simply because deep down, most relationships are still transactional in nature.

That is to say, you stand a very high chance of getting someone to love you when you are financially OK. If you are not, all your abundance of emotions and good traits may not count for much.

Although some social change is seemingly being orchestrated via social media discourse, it seems that it'll take a very long while to completely [or even significantly] overhaul a belief system that has existed for a long, long time in almost every culture and nationality you can think about, although in varying degrees.

Apart from the fact that relationships are largely transactional in these parts, another truth that every guy would need to wrap their heads around is that there is no relationship that’s free.

It could lead to unfavourable comparisons and tension in the relationship [Credit: Net Doctor] It could lead to unfavourable comparisons and tension in the relationship [Credit: Net Doctor] Pulse Nigeria

Relationships are not meant to solely be about what money can buy, they are not supposed to bleed you dry and they are not meant to wreck your credit but you cannot do love in 2019 [or anytime in recent memory] without having to actually spend money, whether you are a man or a woman.

ALSO READ: Financial expectations in modern relationships & marriages

Your love can't live without money

Love, even in its purest, truest and most genuine form is kinda hinged on sharing and giving gifts and spending quality time on dates among other things. And there is no way you are going to do these without spending.

Whenever the operation of money in relationships and marriages is spoken of these days, a lot of attention is paid on women and how they need to chip in more regularly and spend money on men, too.

That conversation is largely triggered by the commonness of transactional relationships as mentioned above, and the need to reduce or completely phase out its occurrences.

It's difficult to imagine any relationship where money is useless or unneeded. [Source: Video Blocks] A lunch date between a man and a woman [Source: Video Blocks] Pulse Nigeria

However, taking away the transactional nature of relationships will still not excuse you, man, from spending on your woman. Neither will it excuse you, woman, from doing the same.

And you need to do so gladly, happily and freely without being asked to. Random gifts for her, especially if her love language is getting gifts; occasionally making a grand show of your love to her and basically just spoiling her as your financial strengths permit.

This is why you should consider not pursuing a relationship when you have no source of income. Really, love is quite difficult to prove when you’re very broke.

In this same vein, it should also be stated that dating within your financial bracket is a thing and every guy needs to acknowledge this. Date someone that won’t require you to over-flex your financial muscle.

You also need to date someone who strives for financial freedom and pursues financial success of her own.

Such women hardly feel entitled to your money and would relate to your money with an appreciation of your effort instead of a misplaced sense of entitlement.