Does your man always take you for granted? Here’s a solution to that

Dear Bukky,

I'm too emotional and I don't know how to pretend. If I'm dating a guy, I always show him that I love him and some even take it for granted. I'm currently dating this guy I met online.

He has confessed his love to me but the problem I'm having now is that if I don't chat him, he will not chat me and I don't want to lose him. What will I do? I need a serious relationship._____________

Dear reader,

Here's what to do when he takes you for granted - I think we should start from the fact that you need to tone down your expectations in relationships. Don’t build hopes on things that are yet not solid. It is fine to have expectations, of course, but it is wise to learn how to not expect too much too early.

Let your hopes rise with the growth of the relationship. Be moved by sight. Let a man’s behaviour and the pattern of his actions guide you. That way, you do not end up building castles in the air.

About the guy you met online. Let me ask, is the relationship still solely based online or it has moved to real life meetings and all? If it hasn’t, I don’t think you should sweat it that much. Just let events play out. If this lad-back pattern of his continues, it’ll just show you how much of a bullet you’ll be dodging by letting him go.

Having said that, I think you also need to learn how to move slowly. While it is OK to love openly, enthusiastically and shamelessly, it is important to also understand the need for guarding your heart from people who are going to use your enthusiasm and no-holds-barred type of love against you.

I’m sure you really don’t want to be used. You want to be loved in the same manner that you are willing to love. To achieve this, you have to painstakingly adapt your style to a more careful one. Change your methods. Put yourself through the necessary process of switching up your approach to love.

Be in friendships long enough to have a reasonable grasp of a man’s character and ways. That way, you establish a friendship and allow yourself more time to know what you are getting into.

It’s OK to be passionate but never forget that in order to find a balance to every passionate pursuit, there’s a need for logic and good reason.________________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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