An open relationship is one where the two people involved can have sexual relations with other people.
Should open marriages be the norm? 4 people speak on this
I asked some people if they would mind being in open relationships or marriages.
The institution of marriage and even dating in modern times is an exclusive relationship. Neither party is supposed to be enjoying emotional or sexual benefits from anyone else.
However, monogamy hasn’t always been how the world worked. Traditional African culture has always been polygamous or polyandrous.
What existed in ancient times was 'Male Mates Guarding' because partners were scarce, and they needed their offspring to be cared for.
Although, few ancient tribes practised monogamy, organized government which started from ancient Greeks and Romans also practised monogamy because their men were only allowed to marry one woman.
Christianity also came and solidified the practice of monogamy.
Uche thinks, “Cheating happens due to the death of religion. I don't think open relationships work.
"Religion brought with its morals, which held the collective together. If there is no God, there is no rule giver. If there is no rule giver, everything is/should be allowed.
"Even though people still cheat, it isn't something of acceptance or honour. My simple take is that the absence of religion lowered the bar.”
Lanre says, “You can't remove religious consideration. That might be why cheating is rampant. Because people are not giving regards to religious consideration.”
However, Sabi Boyz disagrees with both of them. He says, "Monogamy is fast failing today: sexual exclusivity to one person for the rest of our lives.
"How possible is this today in a world of seven billion people, along with human biology? Having sex with one person is like making a vow to eat instant noodles for the rest of their life.
"That aside, cheating as we know it is simply people choosing to be deceptive on purpose and holding someone else to the standards of sexual exclusivity while going behind that their back to sleep with someone else
"Why does this occur? Why do people believe sex operates in the same realm as love? Why promise sexual monogamy to a person knowing full well you don't intend to keep it?
"Cheating is far worse and more damaging than two people accepting their sexual limitations and coming together despite that. Men are naturally polygamous (a taste for many women at the same time). Women are serially monogamous (a taste for a particular man for a certain period).
"Human beings are not monogamous, albeit it is practised by a very tiny minority of the population in its truest form.
"The reason why we have so many problems today is not that people like each other less, it's because we are following a system that does not benefit either party.
"Whether we like it or not, we'll always revert to our humanity. Getting into an open relationship. The right way will remove half of the problems most people have in monogamy. Of course, most people can't and would never accept open monogamy. Which is fine of course.
"Another reason people pursue monogamy despite cheating is that they believe love is sex, and sex is love. But both operate in separate places in the brain.
"I should also add that partners who cheat pursue monogamy because it allows them to control their partner and monitor their movements even if they are not living up to the monogamy standard."
Ore feels that; “The polarization of male and female mating dynamics has been distorted by modern society.
"Monogamy brings stress, people get bored fast especially women. With open relationships, there is no need to lie, cheat or whatever just do you and live stress-free. This is the most practical relationship model in modern society.”
Whose side are you on? Do you agree with Lanre and Uche that we have loosened our grip on morality brought by religion or Ore and Sabi Boyz that monogamy is an anomaly?
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