"I'm torn between my girlfriend of 5 years and another of 2 months"

oge okonkwo

February 22, 2016 5:24 PM

I've been in a 5-year relationship with my girlfriend and began another relationship with another girl some months ago

Hello Bukky

I've been in a 5-year relationship with my girlfriend who is 25 and 300 level. She loves me quite sure no doubt and I love her too. But her stubborn, childish and arrogant attitude is pushing me away from the relationship and makes me think she no longer values it.

I began another relationship with another girl as a result of her attitude and the long distance between us. I'm even thinking of settling down with this one because it's time for me to do so and she loves me and values the relationship even though we just met about 2 months ago.

She's 29, close to my age and works too, though we're into the same job (public service). I like the way she reasons maturely. But I want to end the other distance relationship amicably and with clear conscience.

I asked her if we should discontinue the relationship and part ways due to the ups and downs and the fact that it's no longer what it use to be. She said it's okay with her if I've had enough and want to quit but maintained that she's still interested in the relationship because she promised to love me to my satisfaction.

She also said she's willing to let go and endure the pain for a while if i will be satisfied. She told me the premonition of what's in my mind but insisted that I voice it out and she'll let go. On hearing that, I was touched and speechless that I couldn't continue the conversation.

I'm totally confused. You've to help me out in this dilemma. If possible, i wish to know the attributes of a woman that are given priority in terms of wife material less I make a life time mistake.

Ferdinand,

Thank you.

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Hi Ferdinand,

Thank you for reaching out to me on this delicate situation.

Staying in a relationship isn't easy and must have required a lot of work to be together that long.

When you truly love someone, age or class really doesn't matter, you seek to make the person better without pointing out their shortcomings.

First of all, how well did you try working out your differences with your girlfriend? Did you just blame her of all the problems in your relationship while seeking a better way out? Don't you think you broke the trust by starting a new relationship behind your girl's back?

Most times we think starting a new relationship will bring us the happiness we desire but we forget that happiness and peace of mind can only be generated within us first before we can give it out.

You should have broken off your old relationship first before starting a new one, how are you sure this current one won't be worse in future?

I'll advise to take your time and think about your next move, you can only choose one person in this situation. If you have thought carefully and still want to break up with your girlfriend, then call her and have a discussion with her, it's better you let her know hear truth from you than someone else.

Also, let this current one know you were in a relationship before and you want to be with her now and no one else.

I wish you the best.

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Yours truly!

oge okonkwo