My husband joins Nollywood; suddenly goes from good to bad

I got married five years ago and for the past two years my marriage has been going through so much turbulence. My husband suddenly realized he never loved me and asked that I grant him a divorce.

This started shortly after he joined Nollywood. His extra marital affairs are unlimited as he doesn't have any particular girl but goes after any available one. He stopped having sex with me and when I tried to get close he told me he doesn't have feelings for me.

This has been going on for so long that all family members decided to leave us to our problem since my husband refused to take advice from anyone. I have pleaded with him to tell me my offence so that I can make amends but he kept on saying that I didn't offend him in anyway it’s just that he is not happy in the marriage and wishes to quit.

Right now, he hardly comes home and doesn't care about the kids anymore and I don't have a job because he asked me to resign from my job and I did.

What baffles me most is that he always leaves at any slight disagreement but comes back to us after a short time and this had been happening for two years now.

We came back together just last month and barely three weeks after he came with divorce threat again and asked that we dissolve this marriage.

Despite all I still love him and my children. I honestly don't know what to do.

_______

Dear reader,

There are two options available to you – agree to his demands and quit the marriage or stay married to him against his wish.

It is saddening and annoying that people often make selfish decisions and leave partners picking the pieces and cleaning up after them but what he has done or not done is not really the issue here. We’ll concentrate on how to get the best for you out of this.

If you choose to divorce him, you need to begin now to gather evidence to use in court. Yeah, if there is no court process, this is pointless. You need to go to court, prove to the court that he married you and later changed his mind for no reason despite having three kids. Also ensure to get the best remuneration and press any advantage you have for financial settlement. I think if he has specifically asked for divorce, that’s what you should give him. You’re pretty much no longer in his mind if he is asking to leave you. I don’t believe in begging to stay in places where you are not valued.

If you choose stay in the marriage, on the other hand, you should know that this is how things will be for the foreseeable future. If you have involved so many people to the extent that no one wants to be involved anymore, it doesn’t bode so well for the future of that marriage.

Focus your energy on taking care of your kids and being the best that you can. Hopefully, he does not stop contributing to caring for the kids.

____________

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues? Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail containing your question and location to relationships@pulse.ng, and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it? A problem shared is a problem half-solved!