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Love and Relationships 8 ways to know you're dating a manipulator

How do you know whether you're in a relationship with a manipulator? Here are eight signs to look out for.

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Upset African couple play

Upset African couple


A relationship is supposed to be a give and take arrangement where both people involved get an equal dose of love and affection.

But that is not the case for a manipulator who would rather continue taking and not giving back, regardless of how the other person feels about such one-sided behaviour.

So how do you know you're in a relationship with a manipulator? Here are eight signs to look out for.

  1. Manipulators are typically emotionally imbalanced. They tend to shift and treat people according to their varying moods. If one minute they are up and the next they are down, that's a sign.

  2. If you are giving a 100 percent and the person is only giving 10, that person is a taker. They are only doing enough to get by. Someone like this drains others for their own benefit.

  3. Manipulators use kind words, affection and emotional connection as weapons, not used for authentic relationship building.

  4. A manipulator always wants to be in control, so they will shift the relationship forward or backward as it suits them.

  5. Contention usually comes when pride and control are at work. If they are unwilling to yield and exercise compromise, there will always be arguments that zap the joy right out of the relationship.

  6. Again everything has to be on their terms, so getting them to meet a need is like pulling teeth. The sad part is that the person on the other end over time begins to accept this as the norm.

  7. Usually when you’re ready to throw in the towel is when the person tries to get their act together. However, it won’t be long until the same old behaviour reemerges once the dust settles.

  8. Dating a manipulator puts wear and tear on your heart, because it forces you to make withdrawals on your love bank without ever receiving a deposit. Guard your heart, and if you’re dating someone like this run in the opposite direction…fast.

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