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How really good are you at communication in your relationship?

Let's hear each other out.

Healthy communication at every phase of a relationship is so, so necessary. [Source: Shutterstock]

Considering how useful the concept is and how difficult situations could diffuse when partners actually communicate, it is funny that not too many people communicate as they should. Some actually do, but in ways that are not as healthy as they think.

So how exactly should communication be done for it to be considered healthy?

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1. Listening

Half of the whole communication idea is the ability to actually not say anything. Knowing how to keep mute and let the other person express their views without [unnecessary] interruptions and undivided attention. It is not enough to know how to properly express yourself, knowing how to actually listen with a view to understanding and empathising and not just to reply... that's very very important as well.

2. Speaking out of emotional Intelligence

So you have something to say to your partner that will likely damage their spirit or make them feel bad. Do you just go right ahead and say it the way it is? No!

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This is where many couples fail the communication test. They think that 'saying it as it is' has to be brutal and excludes empathy but that is hardly the way it works. You can say it as it is, you can have awkward conversations, you can even express real anger and annoyance without being a jerk.

Right there, is the sign of a mature communicator. Of course there will be awkward communications and the truth has to be said at all times but it has to be done tactfully.

Always bear in mind that the problem is what you want to tackle and bring down, not your partner.

3. Knowing when to talk

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Then there's also the issue of timing. Knowing how to read moods and choosing the best time for different types of issues is just as necessary for healthy communication as emotional intelligence and an ability to listen with rapt attention.

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