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Pulse Nigeria Poll Readers say they would divorce a spouse who beats them

Majority of Pulse Nigeria Poll voters say they would promptly divorce a spouse who is abusive.

  • Published:
This is one really worried man play

This is one really worried man

(Getty Images)

A Pulse reader, Benjamin, is in a dilemma as his young wife, Nkiru, has proven to be very abusive, both physically and emotionally. And he was brought up in a home where woman beating is never encouraged, couple with the fact that after losing his first wife, he does not want his children to go through life without a mother figure.

Read his letter here:

"My name is Benjamin and I am a 52-year-old businessman based in Lagos. I have kept this problem to myself for many years but I think I have to come out with it because it has been eating deep into my soul.

The problem is that my wife, Nkiru, beats me regularly and though many see me as being weak and less of a man, I have my reasons for not beating her back.

I got married to Nkiru after the death of my first wife, Amaka, a woman who was everything to me. We had three young children before God took her away from us.

Amaka died  when our last child was just two months old and my younger sister came from the village to take care of the kids.

I had vowed never to get married because of the pains of losing Amaka but after almost 10 years, my sister had to get married and my family mounted so much pressure on me to get married so that the children can have a mother figure.

After the pressure was getting too much, I asked my mother to find a wife for me and that was how I got stuck with Nkiru.

The first two years of our marriage was quite blissful and she took care of the kids very well and they dotted on her. But once Nkiru had her own baby, everything changed and she became a strange woman.

She began to hate my children and battered them at the slightest offence. I kept quiet at first but when it got too much, I had to caution her and that was when we had our first quarrel.

In the heat of it, Nkiru slapped me twice. Being a man who has never raised a finger on a woman, I just left the house and went to a nearby beer palour to cool down.

And since then, Nkiru has continued assaulting me and I have scars and bruises to show for them. Some would say I should divorce her but there are two things that make that impossible.

1. We got married in the traditional way and in my place, such marriages are not broken without serious consequences.

2. I would not want my children to go through what they went through when they lost their mother.

But the situation is not going to abate anytime soon.

What should I do?


What would you do if your wife beats you?

How Nigeria voted:

I will beat her back to show who is the head - 25%

I will not beat her back - 65%

I will promptly divorce her - 72%

How would you vote?

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