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Pulse Nigeria Poll Readers say they will forgive a spouse that cheats but not forget the hurt

38% of Pulse Nigeria Poll voters say they will forgive a spouse who commits adultery but they will find it difficult to forget the hurt.

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A very sad woman play

A very sad woman

(Getty Images)

Nora, a reader is devastated as her marriage is on the verge of collapse after she fell into temptation and had an affair with her ex-lover, Josh, something she regretted deeply. Her husband, Denis, somehow, got to know and is bent on sending her out of the house even after she confessed and apologised to him.

Read her letter here:

"My name is Nora and I have been married for three years but the marriage is on the verge of a collapse because I allowed myself to fall into the temptation of sleeping with an ex-boyfriend who came into the country after almost 15 years in the USA.

I know many would blame me and I have blamed myself so much and cried to God to forgive me but Denis, my husband, is not ready and willing to forgive me after he found out what I did with Josh.

I was dating Josh right from my secondary school days and he was in fact the first man to have sex with me. I was so much in love with Josh and I never thought a time would come that I would ever be separated from him till he travelled to the USA.

I was heartbroken but he kept assuring me that he would always come back for me but after two years, he stopped communicating and all my attempts to get through to him were abortive. Even his close friends and relations did not know what had happened to him or they refused to give me his contact.

For 10 years, there was no news of Josh and as I was no longer getting younger, my parents advised me to move on with my life and forget about him. I was dating now and then but no man could ever be like Josh.

Then I met Denis and though I did not love him as much as I loved Josh, he was able to make me forget the pains in my heart. Denis loved me so much and when he proposed, I had to accept.

Our marriage all these years have been great till Josh appeared from no where and shattered everything. I was surprised when a strange number called me in the office and it turned out to be Josh.

He told me he had been in the country for over a month and really wanted to see me. I wanted to see him as well but I never ever thought our meeting would lead to sex.

On the day we were supposed to meet, I told my husband I was going to see my sister and would come back late. I met Josh at an eatery and without knowing why, I felt a rush of the love I had for him sweeping over me.

After our meal, he took me to the hotel he stayed and one thing led to the other and we ended up having sex. In fact, I could not go back home that day and called Denis that my sister was not feeling too well and I had to sleep over.

In the morning while going back home, I felt so much guilt but with the determination that such would not happen again.

A month later, I did not know how, but Denis called me one night and accused me of seeing my ex and even having sex with him. He described how we met and how I slept with him in his hotel room.

I was so shocked that I confessed to him and begged for his forgiveness but he would not hear of that. The next morning, he threw my things out of the house and forbade me from ever stepping into his house.

I have sent his friends, relatives and even our pastor to beg him but Denis has refused to forgive me.

Can someone out there tell me what to do before I lose my marriage?


The teaser for the day was:

Would you forgive your spouse if he/she slept with an ex and you found out?

How Nigeria voted:

Yes, I will forgive him/her if he/she confesses - 31%

No, I will never forgive him/her - 32%

I will forgive but never forget - 38%

How would you vote?

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