I have been dating for the past 12 years but in all those years, he has to me and anytime I attempt to leave him owing to this, he would break down, cry, beg, send people to me, promise to do the right thing but at the end of the day, we will go back to square one.

I met Oscar when I was 20-years-old and in my third year in the university. He was about eight years older than me, which makes him 40-years-old today. He had graduated two years earlier and was working with a construction firm.

I loved Oscar so much that I went back on my promise of keeping my virginity for my husband. Since he had assured me that we would get married in the future, I saw nothing wrong in giving myself to him.

In our years together, I have had to abort about four times for Oscar because he keeps saying he is not ready for marriage.

Not that he does not have what it takes to get married but he keeps giving excuses, ranging from the funny to the absurd, like wanting to buy a car before settling down and when he bought a car, he said he needed to see his siblings through school and when his two younger ones graduated, he said he wanted to build his own apartment so that his family would not have to contend with landlords.

With my financial assistance, the house was completed three years ago but Oscar has not deemed it fit for us to get married. I have had men who want to marry me but I love Oscar so much and cannot see myself getting married to another man.

But the last straw that is threatening to break my back is that I just got to realise that Oscar has fathered two kids from different women in his hometown and when I confronted him on this, he said they were mistakes he made. But we were living together all the while, so I do not know what he means by mistake.

While he made sure I aborted my own pregnancies, he allowed the other women to have his children. I want to leave him but after spending so much time with one man, I don't know where to start from.

Can someone out there help me out?


Dear readers, you have heard from Victoria and on Morning Teaser today, we want you to advice her on what to do in this very precarious situation.