My priest says I can’t marry my girlfriend of 3 years

Dear Bukky,

I have a lady we have been in a relationship for three years now, truly, she is very okay in character but the issue is when I prayed about our being a couple, I was told there is no way there [that our marriage will not work.]

We are already talking about wedding but I want to be very sincere with her about my decision to end things now so I won't end up out [breaking out] of the marriage.

How do I communicate this to her that she won't feel cheated, as I am not happy with the whole thing anymore.

The love I have for her dropped that very day I was told. I know she loves me truly but we both have to move on and face reality.

I need advice.________________

Dear reader

First things first, I can’t gauge your level of faith or which religion you believe in; but what I am sure of is that a relationship between two people is best known by them and that having inside information of something is far better than what an outsider says about it. And I say this without any disrespect to your priest or other priests.

Now this is how I believe this should work: your girlfriend, the one you have been dating for three whole years… who knows her more, you or your priest?

I’ll say you.

And this is what you say of this woman in the email you sent: “she is very okay in character.”

Obviously, this means that you are very satisfied with her and have found her character satisfactory in the three years of being with her. I think three years is enough time to form a very strong and unshakable opinion about someone.

If you can say this from all you have seen, and all the due diligence I expect you must have taken, then why does a differing opinion from an outsider shake you this much?

I know and I’m involved in spiritual beliefs enough to know that God is not an author of confusion. If you and she have something consistent, perfect and honest going, I don’t think God would want to split that.

Understandably, your priest may have probably looked into the future and beheld unpleasant things, I believe, like most people do, that there is nothing God cannot do. Why not just pray about those things and believe God to take those things away?

Afterall, you place so much faith in your priest’s words so much that you want to break the relationship based on what he said. Why not invest that belief in God and what he’s capable of?

You ask for how to tell her of your intention without breaking her heart: I’ll say, how about not tell her at all?

How about you just stay in your relationship, pray about the future and trust God for the best?

If you ask me, I'll say that’s the only way to not break her heart.________________

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