"My boyfriend has a baby & he's not talking to me about it; what should I do?"

Dear Bukky,

I’ve once been here about my boyfriend's ex coming [to him with her pregnancy] after they left each other for two months… and how he didn’t tell his family about it because he was confused if he is truly responsible for it.

Now the girl has just given birth and I don’t really understand my boyfriend and his family again...

He has been apologizing since the baby was born that I should forgive him because he didn’t plan this; that he is only [interested in taking the baby from the girl and her family is aware of this arrangement]

But just on Monday his mom and his younger brother went to the girl parents’ house to see the baby.

He didn’t tell me what they discussed there till now but his younger brother’s girlfriend gave me the gist of everything they said, but [my boyfriend] still didn’t tell me [what went down at that meeting].

Just last night, his younger brother’s girlfriend gave me details of how the naming will go… but my boyfriend is not putting me along again in this issue. I don’t know maybe he doesn’t want us to fight because of this... i don’t just know.

What he does every day is beg. I don’t know if I should leave or stay, because this issue now is beyond my knowledge. His brothers chat me up every day that everything will be fine, that it’s just the baby they want.______________________

Dear reader,

I remember your story quite well and like I said in the previous response I gave, I still think you should try harder to stay with him.

If he is not giving you details about the christening of the child, why not ask? I mean, you seem quite curious about it and you should absolutely ask him about it.

If he keeps begging you apologising to you, I guess that's because he knows he has messed up big time, and he does not want you to leave him. He's also probably scared to tell you about the child's christening because of reasons best known to him.

Be that as it may, I still strongly believe it's best for you to communicate with him and ask questions about everything you are curious about.

If he's not telling you stuff and you need to know about these things, then ask him. It's as simple as that.

If he then lies, or refuses to open up to you, then you can form an opinion about how he wants to handle the whole baby drama, and you can also know whether it's worth it to actually stay with him or to just walk away.

But first, please ask him questions and talk about this.

_________________

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